That was it?
What had I been expecting? For him to jump from the counter, pull me back, and beg me not to go?
Before a tear could slip free, I spun to the door, clutching my phone so tightly I half-expected the screen to crack. I opened it slowly, praying—desperately—that he would stop me, say something, anything, to hold me back for just a minute longer.
But nothing came. Silence pressed in, my throat closed up with all the words I couldn’t speak, not without shattering.
Even still, I turned around, my vision blurring, but I blinked away the tears. “You’re not going to say anything?” My gaze swept across him. “Not even bye?”
His grip tightened around the counter’s edge until his knuckles whitened. “Bye.”
I gave a small shrug, my teeth biting down hard on my lip to keep it from trembling. “Just that?”
He averted his eyes, silent for a long beat before finally coming off the counter. But he didn’t move away from it. He stood rooted there, like it was the only thing holding him back. His gaze found me again. “Have a safe trip.”
My brows shot up.
Have a safe trip?
Fuck my trip.
Shaking my head, I turned back, letting the tears fall freely now as I went to the car, my chest caving from the force of its own breaking. I just needed the car, I just needed the closed doors to fall apart in peace. I couldn’t do that here. Not here. Not in front of him, not when he was so damn composed and calm.
“Sanora.”
His voice stopped me at the car door. My name on his tongue pulled at another version of pain inside me. Maybe he should have stayed silent because hearing him say my name nearly had me cracking a little bit more.
Sniffling, I wiped at my eyes before turning. He stopped some inches from the door, keeping his distance.
He wouldn’t even come near.
“I will always remember you. Know that.”
I gripped the door handle as I forced the knot in my throat down with a swallow. “Okay.” I nodded faintly. He began to turn away, but the words slipped out before I could stop them. “Not even a hug?”
He looked at me, then glanced aside. Of course. What else had I expected from someone who couldn’t even meet my eyes again?
“We’ve had plenty of that,” he said at last.
I nodded slowly.We’d had plenty of kisses, too. I waited on him, silently pleading for anything that might tether me here for even one more breath. I knew too well that if he said the word, I’d stay a month longer without hesitation.
But before I could speak up to ease the silence, he turned, disappearing inside and shutting the door behind him.
I bit down hard on my lip, the copper taste of blood flooding my tongue as I tried to trap the storm inside me. With blurred vision, I slipped into the car and gripped the wheel and started driving. Over and over, I whispered to myself that it didn’t matter, that I should swallow it down, that he would forget me soon enough. He would go on with his endless life, and I was just a passing memory to him. I should be happy I contributed to the history of his life, and that was all it ever was.
And maybe I would forget him too. With time. But right now?
Right now, it hurt. It hurt so fucking much.
I rubbed at my chest with one hand, trying to soothe the pain as I fought not to sob, chanting empty reassurances in my head.
It felt like hours before I finally reached Weeny Man’s place, pulling the car into the exact spot I had picked it up from weeks ago—only now, the back bumper was indented from whatever had struck it that night in the rain.
Fishing out some money from my bag, I rolled the bills around the car key, walked to the front of the house, and tucked it beneath a dead flower pot.
The whole place was coated in dust, confirming that he really disappeared from Nimorran, and he still hadn’t returned from wherever he had disappeared to. Hoping he wasn’t dead, I whispered my gratitude to his door before walking back to the open trunk and dragging out my boxes.
When I was done, I called the same man who had driven me on my first day in Nimorran. And later to The Crater.
