CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
SANORA
“I don’t know, Mother. I’m just excited to see you again.” I mirrored her smile.
She stood up from her bed, making her way into the living room and then the kitchen. Pulling open the refrigerator, she revealed everything she had bought and stocked in anticipation of my return.
My eyes nearly watered. “Why are you being so sweet? It’s not like you won’t be wishing I was out of your house by the third week.”
She laughed, lowering herself into one of the dining chairs. “Just come home first. You should be leaving by now.”
I nodded, checking my watch. “In one hour.”
She exhaled a sigh of relief. “I told you to just gather things from the Internet. Your research was in vain. Now you’ll have to start all over when you get here.”
I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. She was wrong. My research wasn’t in vain. “It wasn’t.”
She scoffed. “How so? You said you keep hitting a wall every time. It’s wasted effort.”
“Yes, but…” My gaze lifted to where Thrax sat on the counter—the very spot where I usually perched while he cooked for me. His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes fixed on me as I sat curled into the couch nearest the door, drinking me in because he knew he wasn’t going to have any other chance to. I held his gaze as I went on, “…I found something even better. I’d do it all again. I don’t care if my thesis doesn’t come out as perfect as I wanted it to be. I’m just so happy I came here.” I confessed to him.Just so happy I got to meet him.
Thrax’s eyes softened in a way I’d never seen before. I could have sworn he didn’t want me to leave either, even if he’d been the one to pack my bags and load them into the back of the car. Because it was our last time together, I had spent nearly the whole day wrapped up in his bed with him, basking in the heat of him, memorising the particular rhythm of his breath, and collecting the scent that clung to his clothes and sheets. I had made him tell me stories just so I could memorize the cadence of his voice, told him stupid jokes to watch him grin, tempted him until he made me come over and over on his fingers.
If it were up to me, I’d have preferred having him fuck me into his bed with his cock instead, but Thrax had said—“There is no goddamned way you’re stepping out of the house and away from me if I fuck you, Nher. I’m a very possessive man and I don’t want any other man to know what this pussy feels like after I’ve been there. That’d drive me beyond insanity. I don’t even want to think of it.”
Oh, well.
I understood why he had said it; he was doing it for both our sakes. He was the sane one between us, and for that I felt a small, grudging gratitude. Because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to return to the humdrum of my daily life if I truly knew how the Soulless Man felt inside me.
My mother’s voice pulled me back. “Then it’s not a waste if you’re happy. And also, I bought all those things in the refrigerator because I thought you’d be skinnier than you already were. One time, I worried you might have poisoned yourself before coming back.”
I chuckled, stealing a quick glance at Thrax and catching the faint lift at one corner of his mouth. “What do you mean?”
“Your cheeks, your face. You look healthier and happier than before.”
Heat rushed to my face. “I’m always happy.”
She arched a brow, her tone soft. “I’m your mother, Sanora. I know what I’m saying. You look…very different.”
I bit back the truth—that someone had been preparing meals, feeding me, and watching me eat every day like it was his religion. That someone had been filling me with firework after firework with the mere brush of his hand. I couldn’t tell her that, I was leaving him. There was no point admitting it now. It was already over between us.
“Okay, Mother, I’ll call you when I get on the train.”
“Alright. Take care of yourself.”
I pressed the red button to end the video call and let out a long, weighted sigh. The heaviness in my chest only grew. The emptiness the call left behind was a physical thing in the room.
We sat there in a quiet that was loud with everything unsaid. He wouldn’t stop staring, and I kept my eyes fixed everywhere but on him as if that would make leaving easier. If I even looked at him one more time in this silence, I knew I’d break.
I stayed quiet with him a while longer before rising to pick up my handbag from the couch. Drawing in a deep, steadying breath, I summoned every ounce of courage I had left and forced myself to meet his eyes.
Hold it together, Sanora.
I tore my gaze away immediately, inhaling once more. “I think I’ll be going now.”
His answer came after a pause. “Okay.”
Okay?
