Was it a dream? Was it just his foolishness? He wanted to find out. Wanted to know Jamie, to see him sprawled on clean white sheets, his pie-bald tan on display so Leland could kiss those ribs, kiss the bruises away, soothe the inside of his thighs, which must ache from his riding lesson. Wanted to curve his arms around Jamie and whisper sweet things to him as he gently pushed back that dark tumble of hair from Jamie’s forehead. Leland wanted to cover Jamie’s body with his own and make known the secrets of their bodies in passion and in sweetness.
Would Jamie want all those things, like he wanted them? And what would he want in return? Leland wanted to find out.
Levi gestured to Leland when the ice arrived, and for the first time in his life he wanted to snap out a command:Just take care of it. The last thing Leland wanted was to be pulled out of Jamie’s arms. But this was the way they worked, as a team, so when the dance ended, Leland bowed to Jamie and went over to Levi to give the direction that yes, half the ice should be put in the cooler, half of it in the barrel, and that yes, someone should call the repairman in the morning, the earlier the better.
When he was finished with that, he went back to the dance area and looked for Jamie. He was waiting for him, on the edge of the dance area, this time, with his hands in his pockets, kicking at bits of gravel with the toes of his cowboy boots. Head down, concentrating on this, ignoring all that was around him, like he was making a wish with each and every kick, little bits of dust rising in the cool, night air.
“Jamie,” Leland said, striding right up to him.
Jamie lifted his head, and Leland gave in to the impulse to push his dark hair back from his forehead. And gave in to another impulse, the one he never thought he would.
“Would you like to leave the dance, or stay?” he asked, his breath a little short and sharp in his throat.
“Leave?” Jamie asked, his green eyes reflecting the fairy lights strung around the dance area.
“And go back to my cabin—with me.” Leland clarified that, just in case there was any question, though he felt a bit foolish, foolishly falling, his heart on fire for this young man who had jumped into his life with both feet.
Jamie’s eyes went dark, then, a flare of something smoky and deep, as though Leland had stirred something inside of him with those words. He reached out his hand and gripped Leland’s, tugging, holding on tight in a way that almost broke Leland’s heart. It was as though he’d thrown Jamie a lifeline, and Jamie was grabbing on so hard, with so much wanting, so much openness—
“Yes,” said Jamie, all affectation of casual indifference gone to be replaced by that open expression, eyes wide, his cheeks flushed.
“All right, then,” Leland said. He slipped his hand from Jamie’s and placed it on the small of his back, feeling the heat there, like he’d placed a brand on him, a mark of possession, even if only for one night.
What was he thinking, doing this? But his heart was racing, and he was hard in his jeans, his cock standing up against his belly like an iron bar. His heart ached with wanting Jamie, his soul singing as they walked away from the dance area and along the shadowed path that led to his cabin.
Jamie came willingly, trotting at his side to keep up, his breath coming in short bursts. Leland would treat him right, and he would honor what they were about to share, though some part of his mind was standing up, shouting, demanding he pay attention to it. But as they stepped onto the porch of his little cabin, and the porch light flicked on, he opened the door and ignored that voice. Ignored it completely as he drew Jamie into the half-darkness of the cabin.
He left the porch light on and turned on the light in the main room, pulling Jamie behind him as he led the way to the bedroom. Shadows and light played in through the doorway in long beams. There was a queen bed with a brass headboard and a colorful patched quilt, all supplied by the ranch, and as he pulled back the bedclothes to reveal the white sheets, Jamie made a little sound.
“What is it?” Leland asked, turning to him. He wanted to be sure of Jamie, to make sure he knew Leland would be gentle, that he wouldn’t hurt him, but in the midst of his mind rabbiting on, Jamie smiled a sweet, small smile.
“I love your bed,” he said.
This almost made Leland stop, that reaction from him. It was a bed, that’s all it was, a bed. Yet Jamie was reacting as though Leland had pulled out a pile of gold and given it to him. What must his life have been like for him to appreciate something as simple as a bed? It wasn’t even his. It was a borrowed bed. Borrowed bedclothes. Yet to Jamie—
Leland went to him and pulled him close and kissed him, like he’d been wanting to. His whole body sighed as he gave into the kiss, their mouths meeting, touching like silken rose petals coming together. His hand came to Leland’s waist, almost hovering there, before he felt slender fingers digging into the cloth of his shirt.
When he opened his eyes, Jamie’s eyes were closed, eyelashes long shadows on his cheeks. Leland cupped his face, and kissed his cheek, fighting against the howling inside of him that wanted him, wanted him so badly, it was like fighting wolves to make him go slowly.
“I’ve never been with anybody before,” said Jamie, his voice low and sweet.
“Never?” Leland paused and watched as Jamie looked at him, his eyes green jewels in the semi-darkness.
“No,” said Jamie. He swallowed. “But I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure?” Leland asked, whispering into Jamie’s ear like a promise of love. “I will be gentle with you, so, so gentle.”
“I know you will,” he said, whispering back, his breath like a ribbon across Leland’s cheek. “I’m sure.”
Leland was almost broken by those words, that trust. And realized there was no more need for words, if there’d ever been any, as he undid the pearl-snap buttons on Jamie’s blue shirt, one by one, the popping sound like a shot in the quiet room. And Jamie, with a teasing smile, did the same to Leland. One by one, they undid each other’s buttons, and Jamie was brave, so very brave, matching Leland motion for motion.
Leland undid the brass button on Jamie’s dark, new blue jeans, and Jamie undid the buttons on Leland’s. And when he undid Leland’s last pearl-snap button, he pushed away Leland’s shirt from his shoulders and stepped into Leland’s arms and pressed his cheek against his naked chest, his arms wrapped around his waist. Trembling the whole while.
“What are you doing?” Leland asked, his voice low. He dipped his chin and kissed the top of Jamie’s head.
“Listening to you,” he said, kissing the center of Leland’s chest. “Listening to your heartbeat.”
Staggering, Leland hugged him tightly, then slipped his shirt from him, and kissed his neck, the curve of his shoulder, all the while tugging them both in the direction of the bed. Which lay open, the bedclothes pulled back, an invitation of white expanse and colorful quilt.
