With a nod that felt more shaky than it probably was, Jamie led the way along the porch to the end of it where the barrel was, full of ice and cans of soda and bottles of root beer. Jamie pulled out two bottles, cold and dripping, and handed one to Leland. Silently, together, they screwed off the lids.
When Leland held his bottle out to him, Jamie was confused, but only for a second. They clinked bottles and drank down that good, local-made, slightly spicy root beer. As Jamie swallowed, he smiled at Leland, then wiped his mouth with the backs of his fingers.
“Would you dance with me?” Leland asked, dipping his chin down so only Jamie could hear the words.
He was so close Jamie could smell the dusky cologne on his neck, see the sparkle of beardgrowth where he’d missed a spot shaving. See the turn of muscle that went down below his open shirt collar. And all at once, Jamie experienced a sense of wanting, a rush so powerful, he felt willing to throw himself at Leland, then and there. But he’d asked him to dance and was waiting for an answer. And there was nothing Jamie wanted better than to dance with him.
“I was going to ask you,” Jamie said, confessing this, the words tumbling out of him like escaped mice. “I was, only I don’t know how.”
“I’ll teach you,” Leland said, then took a long draw on his bottle of root beer.
Jamie felt as though he was falling forward, falling with a delicious, stomach-flipping motion. Leland’s voice was full of promises, and his eyes, when he looked at Jamie, were full of affection and joy, like he liked Jamie just like he was.
They stood there, side by side, and finished their root beers, recycling the bottles before Leland reached out and laced his fingers with Jamie’s and led him to the dance area. Nobody was looking at them with any particular notice, not like they disapproved or anything, but other dancers made way for Leland, on account of he was so tall, his presence so commanding that there wasn’t anything else for them to do but get out of his way. And out of Jamie’s way, since they were so close, and he felt pretty special as he took his place beside Leland. As they readied themselves, the lady who called the dances, all decked out in her cowgirl outfit, announced it was to be a line dance.
Though Jamie felt a sting of disappointment that he wouldn’t be in Leland’s arms, maybe it was better to start off this way. Like a courtship, a sweet, fun dance, with him and Leland, side by side.
The music started, and the cowgirl called out the dance steps. Jamie fumbled and tripped his way through that dance, doing his very best not to run over anyone or step on Leland’s booted toes. Leland laughed when Jamie would bump against him, and then he’d set Jamie to rights. He helped Jamie with the steps, always smiling as he gestured and demonstrated, his grey-blue eyes always looking Jamie’s way, full of light and happiness and pleasure.
Jamie remembered Leland talking about how much he liked this part of his job, how he enjoyed taking part in the dances, both to show the guests a good time and to keep an eye on how it was going. And this time, he was spending that time with Jamie, and not anyone else. Jamie was so proud and pleased, his heart was about to bust out of his chest at every moment.
Just when he was getting the hang of it, the dance ended, and the cowgirl turned to the band to talk to them, holding her microphone to the side. Somebody gestured to Leland, and he tapped his fingers to his hat and nodded at Jamie and went up to take care of whatever it was.
Meanwhile, Jamie held his place on the dance floor as everyone dispersed for a moment. He felt a little foolish, but there was no way he was going to give up their spot. He wanted Leland to come back to him and he wanted to dance with Leland some more and he wanted to see where this might take them.
Never in his life had he been full of this kind of expectation, bubbling up inside of him like bubbles in a bottle of root beer, each bubble small, a little hesitant, but growing and pushing their way upwards until he could hardly stand to wait until the cowgirl stepped forward and put her microphone to her mouth.
“We’re going to have a couples dance,” she said as the band started up, a tune that rolled and moved through the air as though inviting everyone to get up and join in. “Grab a partner, now, don’t be shy.”
Jamie held his breath in fear that someone would ask him to dance because it was obvious, at that point, that he wasn’t allowed to say no. He worked for the ranch, so if a guest needed a partner, he was going to have to say yes.
He searched the crowd for Leland’s tall form, and saw him, just at that minute, nodding to Brody, and handing him his hat. Then Leland hurried over to Jamie, and when he reached him, he took Jamie’s hat off and placed it on a bench, and then, with a little bow, invited Jamie to dance with him.
There were no words, not in his mouth or in his head or anywhere, as he moved into Leland’s arms and he held him like Jamie was the lady and Leland was the gent. But there wasn’t anything to that. Someone had to lead, after all, and Leland was a much better dancer than Jamie was.
Maybe Leland would teach him how and he could lead some day. In the meantime, Jamie soaked in Leland’s touch, soaked in the warmth of his skin as they held hands in the curve of his shoulder where Jamie’s other hand rested. On the breadth and strength of his hand on Jamie’s waist that guided him with little tugs and presses so he would know which way to go, so he would know how to follow him as the band warmed up, and the cowgirl sang the lyrics to something sweet and soft, the words going around and around with the music.
The small lights strung overhead twinkled as it got darker, and seemed to spread a kind of fairy tale of possibility, like they wanted Jamie to believe that it was possible, him and Leland. That there could be more of this, of dancing, and having root beer together, taking rides, and working side by side.
Life, his old life, had never been like this, nothing like it. Only here he was, dancing with a handsome man, their bodies in sync as Leland’s grey-blue eyes smiled down, a gleam of sweat on his temple, pleasure radiating all the way through him and into Jamie. There had never been a night like this, where pleasure and joy mixed as they danced, around and around, their bodies close, hearts beating in time.
24
Leland
When the ice maker went out, Leland sent two hands to the Rail Car restaurant in Farthing to get more. Then he turned back to the dance floor, where Jamie was waiting, all by himself. Standing there on the empty dance floor like he was guarding their spot, waiting to dance, and only with him.
His hair was sprawled over one eye and he had small sweat stains under each arm, but he was so adorable, so sweet and patient, waiting for Leland to do what his job required him to do. Leland wanted to gather Jamie in his arms, then and there, and kiss every spot of him he could reach. The guests would be scandalized, and his fellow employees would have fodder to fuel their gossip for weeks to come.
He was always so careful and reserved with his thoughts, his feelings, that he could hardly believe that his life had taken this direction. But it had, and he hurried over to Jamie as the dance floor filled, and took the liberty of removing Jamie’s hat for him and placing it aside. Of bowing. Of asking him to dance, all without words.
Of course, Jamie stepped into his arms, head held high, green eyes sparkling, his whole being filled with life and light and joy. And he fit in Leland’s arms as though he’d been designed for just this moment, his hand in Leland’s hand, Leland’s other hand in the small of his back, his skin alive and warm beneath the thin layer of blue cotton chambray that he wore.
Up close like that, Jamie smelled nice, the line of his cheek smooth and freshly shaved. He’d gone to some trouble for this dance, and Leland’s heart banged at the thought of it, at how high Jamie’s hopes were, and how Leland might be leading him on. But he wanted this dance with Jamie, and as the music started, and couples started moving, Leland guided him through the steps.
Jamie had no idea how to dance this dance; he was trusting Leland to guide him, trusting him to make sure of him in the moments, the swirl of couples all around them. Trusting Leland to make sure he didn’t break his heart. He didn’t want to break it; he wanted to take it and keep it close, and he wanted—
Sometimes, he just didn’t know what he wanted. But at that moment, he wanted this closeness, Jamie and him, and he wanted to stay close, just like they were, almost hip to hip, Jamie in his arms, his gaze on Jamie, and only on him, as they danced and swirled and shared a secret conversation between them, known only to their hearts. A secret code Leland urgently wanted to untangle so he could find a way this might work, that what they shared would continue beyond the dance floor, into the night, and onto the next day. And the day after that. And all the days that followed.
