“I do. People are more resilient than they are given credit for. Especially moms. She endured multiple traumas on top of existing CPTSD from her childhood. But she’s beginning to slowly find her way toward learning how to live in this new normal, as much as that’s a horrible way to say it.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “And if she can learn to find her way through something so horrible, you’ll figure out how to find your way through this, baby.”
Now he cupped her face in his hands and gently slanted his lips across hers in a kiss that, if she wasn’t careful, might send them both back to bed for the rest of the morning.
“I love you so much, baby,” he said.
“I love you, too. New day, fresh start. Right?”
Beck nuzzled her nose with his. “Right.”
“Good.” But as they both climbed into their vehicles and headed out, Nami wondered if her tough wolf would ever truly be able to let go of his guilt and find his way to healing.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
Beck
Beck tookhis time driving to Dewi’s because now he had a lot to chew on.
A.
Lot.
He knew they were all right. About everything.
Something he’d never admitted to anyone before was, at the time, he’d thought the oath Charlie Bleacke extracted from them all that night while gathered around the fire after Dewi’s birth was more the emotional warbling of a man who’d just experienced a personal miracle and felt desperate not to tempt Fate by instead taking every precaution possible to protect it.
And then…
And then.
Intellectually, Beck knew it was not his fault Charlie and Chelsea were murdered.
He knew it wasn’t his fault Endquist attacked Dewi.
But the sound of Badger’s tortured howls that night when they found them, of Trent and Peyton screaming for their parents, and then the weak sound of Dewi’s cries that broke all of their horrified paralysis and sent them desperately scrambling through the blood and gore to find her, would haunt his soul forever.
In the blink of an eye he’d gone from an invincible boy who’d never felt an empty belly and thought nothing bad could ever happen to him at that time in his life to a jaded man realizing how incredibly fragile this existence was.
Even for those of their kind.
When he arrived at Dewi’s house, Joaquin’s car wasn’t there yet, and Ken’s SUV was gone. He knew Ken would be over with Tamsin and them today. Beck headed into the kitchen first, where Dewi was filling her coffee mug.
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Hey—” they both started, nervously laughing, then, “No, go ahead.”
More nervous laughter.
He never used to feel nervous around her. Even when their relationship transformed into lovers.
She smiled and pointed to her mug. “Coffee, and then can we please go out to the lanai and sit and talk?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
Five minutes later, they were seated at the patio table next to the pool.
“I’ll go first,” he offered. He played with his coffee mug for a moment, staring at it, unable to look her in the eyes right then. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I was out of line yesterday. I will be sitting down with Duncan and Badger and apologizing to them, too.”
He slowly spun the coffee mug in his hands. “You aren’t a kid and haven’t been for years. You were forced to grow up too damned young. And, yes, I love you. I loved you. I will love you. And what form that love takes has grown and changed throughout the years as our relationship has grown and changed.”
