Jace
Before dawn on the second Tuesday of January, I awaken in our hotel room in Tallahassee and lie there with Eddie’s back pressed tightly against me like I’m a protective wall shielding him from the world.
Who’s really shielding who, though?
Am I using him as an easy excuse for what I’m planning, even though it was always a destination I was bound to reach before I ever met him?
I’m prepared to lose my little brother today.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right?
Not looking forward to that possibility.
The irony that Carter potentially walking away from me might have everything to do with thespecificperson I now own and nothing to do with my sexual orientation or preferred relationship dynamic isn’t lost on me.
That’s all right. I will press forward with my quest, avenging not only Pete and Tom, but Carter, too. And Eddie. Maybe Cunningham didn’t kill Carter, but he damn near did. Likely took a chunk out of his soul in the process the way he did with Eddie, too.
Part of me feels guilty, no matter how irrational that is, that I didn’t take out Cunningham back in Germany before he had a chance to fuck up my little brother’s life. I know it’s not my fault…
But it’smyfault, isn’t it?
Had I not hesitated, had I taken a few risks and culled Cunningham years ago, he couldn’t have fucked with Carter, or Eddie, or who knows how many other young men.
And several men in Carter and Eddie’s old unit would still be alive. Others wouldn’t have been severely wounded.
Yes, I know I can’t change the past, and technically I hold no liability for the events that unfolded.
Doesn’t mean I know how to stop holding myself accountable.
Our research dredged up that Cunningham is friends with a good friend of US Senator ShaeLynn Samuels, Bradenton Rexley. He will be in attendance at Susa’s inauguration ball tonight. The good senator is running for POTUS, although she’s already got a primary field jockeying for position around her.
I suspect she’ll annihilate them all. The woman’s sharp, a top-notch attorney, and an effective lawmaker. She deserves the spot.
But what I need from her tonight is an introduction to her friend, Bradenton Rexley, who I already know is also on the guest list for tonight’s event because he happens to be a high-powered lawyer in Tallahassee with a lot of state-level juice.
Of course Carter would invite Rexley to tonight’s soirée. Carter’s not stupid. He knows having someone like Rexley on Susa’s side will greatly benefit her administration in numerous ways.
There’s something to be said about cultivating political emissaries who aren’t elected officials, and who can relay messages and help craft compromises. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. They can legitimately claim to have juice with elected officials, and the elected officials can put them to use in situations where making direct contact themselves could potentially erupt in a PR nightmare if it came to light—if it wasn’t an instance of outright illegal conflict of interest, or undeclared lobbying, or a violation of sunshine laws.
I’m guessing that means Carter may not know anything about Rexley’s close friendship with Cunningham.
Or, maybe it does. Based on what Eddie told me Carter did to Elsa just a couple of months ago, and what I deduced on my own from research, maybe Carter has plans of his own for getting closer to Cunningham at some future point.
I can’t let that happen. I can’t risk my little brother potentially throwing away his life and family over revenge.
That’smyjob.
More specifically, that’s Eddie’s job. If we’re all very careful, and even more lucky, maybe all of us will emerge on the other side of this unscathed. Overall, I’m not superstitious, but by surviving in Afghanistan, and successfully taking out Elsa Pfeiffer, Carter’s likely already used up his lifetime of luck.
That’s too much risk to my little brother for me to be comfortable with it.
What happens next, once my final life’s mission is complete?
I honestly don’t know. I haven’t dared jinx this mission by planning any of that yet. Eddie’s barely survived all these years. He thinks he has, but not really. Not emotionally.
Ideally, he and I will buy a house somewhere on a slice of land where no one can hear him scream when I lay hands on him and give him the only peace he feels he deserves.
Until I can teach him there is more to life than mere survival, that is.
