There’s no way I would do that now, though. Ruin Ward, I mean. Because I know it would hurt Liam if I hurt Ward. I might be angry, and hurting, but Liam is my heart and soul and if he loves something, I will do whatever it takes to love and protect it.
Even if I hate it.
In the case of one Senator Ward Mason Callahan, at first glance he’s not exactly easy to hate. Especially as hunky as he is.
You think I won’t try to figure out a way to make this work? To wrench Ward’s head out of his fucking ass, free him from the evil bitch he’s married to, pry him from his father’s clutches, and completely capture him so he’sours?
Yeah, if you think I won’t, you definitely don’t know me.
I saw the agonizing emotional torture my mother endured over the years before losing my father. I would never wish that pain on another soul.
Especially not my husband. A man who’s already suffered more in this life than he ever should have. Iwillget my vengeance, and take my pound of flesh straight out of Ward’s ass, one way or another.
Then, and only then, when I’m certain Liam’s finally hit a point where he can vent the anger and pain he’s suppressed throughout all these years, will I let Liam freely have Ward again and allow them to manage whatever’s still left between them.
All while trying to protect the three of us from Ward’s father as best I can.
Because I am a realist. I know if Liam can’t finally purge that anger and heartache and clean out the wound, even if I stay and send Ward away, eventually that rot will poison our marriage. The only reason it hasn’t before now is that my love for Liam and his for me were completely focused on each other and created an antiseptic atmosphere within him, with our dynamic and relationship, and it didn’t allow the infection to spread and destroy us. We safely cocooned it.
Ward’s return shattered that cocoon and has allowed the poison to spread once more.
With those protective walls destroyed, it’s only a matter of time before everything withers and dies in the path of the virulent contagion. There’s not enough love and prayer and begging and pleading that could save it. This decision of mine isn’t some perverse profaning of our sacred vows—it’s practicality.
The only thing now that can save our marriage is Ward, I’m sad to say. Either by Liam sending Ward away of his own free will, or by us absorbing Ward together and letting him finally inoculate us and neuter the poison’s effect.
I’m a very practical kind of guy, very analytical. It’s what I do, and I’m damned good at it. Running the possibilities through my mind, I know letting Liam atone howhewants to is another recipe for disaster. He’ll always feel guilty, he’ll always want to grovel.
I don’t want that.
I want my fucking Master back. That means I need to drive this runaway car we’re in through the fiery valley of Hell as fast as I can without stopping to give us time to catch fire and burn. I can hit the brakes and steer us to safety once we’re past the worst danger.
BecauseIam now the aforementioned guy working through his old trauma in the best way he can. At least of the three of us, I’m self-aware enough to admit that. I know to breathe through the pain and let it flow through me and process it in a better, healthier way.
I cannot send Ward away, even if Liam says it’s okay to do that.
Ithasto be Liam’s choice.
Right now? I want to turn Ward into raw hamburger and drive him hard and deep into subspace and have him realizing that he could have a twofer, if he can ditch his fear and simply accept the situation. He can have his Master back, he can have me as not just his Sir, but as a brother, of sorts. He can shed his unhappy sham of a life—and wife—and finally start truly living.
And we could do it safely, if the two of them will simplylistento me and be damned careful. Managing optics is one of my strengths. I’ve become an expert at it over the years I’ve worked for the congressman. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve learned more from the mistakes of others and watching whatnotto do than I ever could have in any PR class.
After taking a deep breath, I continue up the stairs, because right now, Ward is on his way here.
And I have a husband to tie up before Ward arrives.
