I didn’t know Ward’s name back then, obviously. All I knew was that Ward shattered the heart and trust of the man I love, and I’ve always wanted to seek some sort of revenge for that transgression.
I never dreamed Ward returning to Liam’s life would or could become a reality. Or that Liam would ever have an opportunity to fuck him.
Much less that I’d fall for the fucker, too.
It took me a couple of hours to read through all the e-mails. Apparently, Liam started sending them immediately after Ward ghosted, but Ward never responded. Over the years, Liam seemed to use those e-mails as a type of therapy. In fact originally, many of them weren’t sent. Liam would stick them in the drafts folder after writing them. He even said as much in several of the e-mails, that it was more for him to work through stuff in a safe way.
But then Ward returned to his life. That very same night of the swearing in, Liam opened the drafts folder and sent the e-mails.
Allll of them.Years’worth.
Reading through them, I realized something I never understood before—Liam genuinely loves Ward and always has. Liam felt responsible for him and wondered if he was the one at fault for Ward’s disappearance. Between the lines of heartbreaking grief, pain, and anger, I read the pure, undying love Liam still held for Ward.
I love what my husband and Master loves. I cherish what he cherishes.
He’s my Master, and I take that as seriously as he does.
Besides, let’s face it, Ward Callahan is a damned hottie. Other than being pissed off because Liam acted like a total fucking idiot and took completely unacceptable risks, I know damned well I’ll never bag Ryan Reynolds as my hall-pass fuck.
If having Ward will help Liam heal, and I can jump in and have fun, too, I’m all for it.
As long as we can do it in secret and not ruin our lives in the process.
Doesn’t mean I won’t first make the two of them pay for being total dumbasses.
I’m certain there are those who’d call what Liam did cheating. Now, under other circumstances, I would absolutely agree with you.
But considering he’smyhusband, andI’mthe one who set the hall-pass fuck rules in the first place, I think I am the one who gets to decide how this plays out, thank you very much. I have a reputation for being somewhat pedantic at times. When I agree to something—even if it’s something most people believe is far-fetched, like the situation we’re in right now—Imeanit.
Not saying I like how this played out, or that it’s a scenario I ever dreamed would occur, but such is the blessing and curse of the hall-pass fuck card.
If youhonestlythink I would have turned up my nose at a chance to fuck Ryan Reynolds, then you obviously do not know this motherfucker standing right here.
Ward isnoRyan Reynolds.
But he’s damn sure not dog food, either. I see the faint resemblance to me, even though Ward’s seven years older than I am. Even before I browsed all the old pictures of them in college, I could imagine a younger man with trimmer lines and a few less pounds on his frame, and no, I don’t blame Liam at all.
Hell, Iabsolutelywould’ve done him, were he my HPF.
The difference is, I would have given Liam a heads-up first that I was cashing it in. A courtesy notice, like weagreedto in the first place.
Also, Liam should have given me the opportunity to ask to join in.
That’swhat I’m really pissed off about. That, and the continued secrecy, and theirinsanelystupid risk-taking. Come home and fuck in our house like civilized men, where there’s no risk of someone accidentally stumbling across what you’re doing. Don’t do it in a tiny hideaway office on Capitol Hill, where some stupid fucking college—or Christ, high school—intern can catch you in the act and make themselves a tidy sum selling pics or video to TMZ.
I’m still too raw and angry to admit to Liam or Ward that when I confirmed what was going on, my first gut reaction wasn’t betrayal, but lust.
Honestly? I’m not pissed off that Liam’s fucking Ward.
I’m pissed off that hehidit from me during these past couple of weeks, and that he took exceedingly stupid risks in the process. I’m also pissed off he didn’t just tell me immediately who Ward was and then tell me he wanted to cash in his voucher to fuck the man.
I would have told him to bring the boy’s ass home and let’s party.
Because one of my hottest fantasies has always been a three-way involving me, Liam, and Ryan Reynolds.
This is the second-best situation, and even better, a completely doable one, too.
Also, the hurting husband inside me knows Liam never would have done this if I hadn’t put the HPF rule into place. Even before I asked Liam if he’d ever cheated on me any other time, deep in my heart I knew the answer to that.
