George now watches me, his gaze narrowing slightly. “Case?”
I draw in a breath. “We all have secrets. Mine are pretty damn old, and dark. That’s all.”
He slips his hands into his pockets. For a moment, I can see the guy who I knew from the start would win Ellen’s heart from me. I see the gawky, awkward, adorably shy college kid who I trusted with my safety because I knew he was in love with Ellen.
Because he’d proved to me, at least in that way, that I could trust him not to harm me, or her.
“I love you, Casey.” His gaze drops to the floor as his voice chokes up. “I’ll do whatever you ask of me to prove it to you.”
In all of this, so far, we haven’t actually made love with each other. Both of us fucking Declan in the same bed isn’t making love to each other. And yes, Iwouldlike to.
Eventually.
I allow myself and him this—I put my arms around him and hug him, because we both need it.
His arms encircle me and he buries his face against my shoulder. I stroke his hair and let him breathe, let him take the long, shaky, haggard breaths that are him trying to maintain control.
If he ever tries to overpower me, I could fight him and hurt both of us in the process, or I could let it happen and hate both of us on the other side of things.
Somehow, I know he’ll never do that with me. Declan actually gets off on that kind of consensual non-consent play with George, and I know George gets off on it, too. But only because he knows Declan’s into it. It’s something I cannot stomach doing, however, giving or receiving.
Which is an irony, yes. How can it be non-consensual if Declan wants and enjoys it?
Igetit.
Problem is, I’m not sure if either of them are into it for therightreasons. Meaning sustainable ones. Or if they’re both using each other to self-medicate—which is what I suspect is really happening.
That’s a recipe for disaster, and one I need to correct asap.
Not that I think they should stop being together. Together, they’re both happier than either of them have been in a long time. I honestly believe they’re the solution to their mutual despair. But therehasto be someplace for thembothto go, relationship-wise, beyond sex that sends their endorphins off the charts.
Therehasto be a solid foundation.
Neither of them have that right now. They’re too come-drunk on the high of metaphorically fucking on a tiny platform a mile in the air while being blasted by hurricane-force winds with no safety net.
George maybe even literally, in some ways.
Even more so if they want me to be a part of it all with them.
“So we’re agreed?” I ask. “From when the meet-and-greet ends next Friday, until Sunday night, you completely submit to me?”
I feel him nod. “Yeah.”
“Then as long as you don’t run him off again, or hurt him, yes, we’ll stay. I’m not going to promise you I’ll ever have sex with you, though. But I won’t leave and take him. You and I have to take things slowly between us. There’s too much history between us that you didn’t even understand, at the time, for menotto take it slow with you. Can you live with that?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
I reach up and rub his scalp and feel the way he nearly melts. He doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s already half-trained
Dominants can be trained, too.
“Go upstairs and change,” I tell him. “I’ll have Dec pick us up some dinner and bring it over.”
He kisses the top of my head before he walks out of the kitchen. I grab my phone and text Dec.
Please get Chinese for all three of us for dinner. Pack for me and you to spend the night here. Dive safe, and I’ll see you soon. Love you.
He knows what our favorites are. I assume the delay in his response is because he calls in our food to our favorite take-out place first.
