“The boy needs to see you’re human and not some infallible Master,” I tell him. “He needs to meetGeorge. He’s never seen you as an equal, not really. You were a mentor and boss and candidate, and now Master. And I need to seemyold George. I need to see the man I used to know. You never went far enough for Ellen. You go too damn far with Declan. I think the only way to rein you in is to let you see what it feels like.”
“What?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You give me a weekend.”
Confusion fills his expression, and I don’t blame him. “What do you mean?”
“The only way this will work long-term is if we trust each other. You want me to trust you, and you’re asking me to trust you not only with myself, but with Declan. You say you don’t want to lose me. Problem is, you don’t have any skin in the game. Not really.Showme you mean it. Turn yourself over to me for the weekend. Next weekend. Two nights. Friday night to Sunday night.
“You don’t reallyknowme, George. I know alotmore about you than you know about me. I don’t know if I’m nothing more than an unobtainable prize to you at this point, or a substitute for Ellen, or what. Give meyou. After that, if you still want me, you and I will sit down and figure out the details between us. Permanently. But Ineedthis from you to take that step and start working my way back toward trust.”
I see a flicker of fear in his eyes. “If we do this…you won’t leave and take him?”
This is the point when I realize he doesn’ttrulyunderstand healreadyowns Declan, and has, for a while.
Which explains why he sent Declan back to me Thursday night. “Are you more afraid to lose him or me?”
It takes him a moment. “Both of you. I can’t lose either of you.”
I lean against the counter. “Okay, then. I don’t think asking a weekend ofyouin exchange for a lifetime ofusis too much to ask, is it?”
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No, it’s not. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I don’t dare hope, although this man has defied the odds before and survived. I drop my voice. “You’re going to let me show you the other side of things. Right now, you’re trying so hard to hold everything together that you’re about to implode. Youneedto learn how to release control, even if only for one weekend. Declan and I are partners in this with you, inallof it. But you need to see things from a different point of view. You haven’t even bottomed to Declan, or given him a blow job, much less taken a spanking.”
A long silence settles between us, and I wait him out.
“And then what?” he asks.
I push off the counter and walk over to him. I don’t miss how his eyes scour me, the way my hips sway because of my high heels. Which George loves, but poor Ellen damn near broke her neck in heels no matter how many times I tried to teach her to walk in them.
Okay, so, yeah, maybe I’ve always deliberately worn heels around him knowing full well what it does to him.
I stand in front of him and look up into his eyes. “I’m never going to beher. The closest I can give you to what you had with her is Declan. Still, if you and I can have a meeting of the minds, hopefully we can work out something permanent between us that we’ll both enjoy, and so will he. We can share Declan as our bottom, and have something as equals between us.
“But I need to know you reallyunderstandwhat Declan’s giving you. It was different between you and Ellen. Declan is as tough as you are in some ways, and weaker than she was in others, and youneedto see what that feels like from the inside. You’re a man, and maybe you think it’s different for him than it was for Ellen. In some ways, it’s not. In others, it is, but not in the ways you think.”
“What are we talking about? For the weekend? What do you want to do?”
“You give metotalcontrol. No limits, the way Declan has with me. In other words, don’t dish out what you can’t take.” I smirk. “Or are you afraid to see what it’s like on the other end of things?”
“Have you ever taken it?”
He doesn’t ask it in a snarky tone, but I know my smile has faded.
George has no reason to know details about my past because I haven’t told him, and I suspect Ellen didn’t, because I’d asked her not to.
“There are a lot of things I’ve taken that have made me who I am today. Depending on how our weekend goes, maybe that’s another conversation you and I can eventually have. I’m not at that point yet. I refuse to promise you anything beyond what I know I can do. I don’t make promises I don’t know if I can keep. I know if you submit to me for a weekend,showme you’re serious, it will go a long way to shoring up and rebuilding my trust in you.”
His handsome blue gaze rests on me for a long moment before he slowly nods. “I’d like to earn your trust enough to know that. Ellen once hinted there were things she knew about you that she’d promised to never tell.”
I struggle not to cry. Of course my good girl never told—not even him. She might have given her heart and soul and body to him, but I knew there was a tiny place inside her that would always belong to me.
Because I’d owned her first.
Youneverforget your first.
You can never fully release them, either.
