Does the situation I currently find myself in make every horrible thing people have told me…correct?
What else does it say that I have a sinking suspicion the only thing standing between Governor George Forrester and true insanity is…well,me?
Furthermore…
What does it say aboutmethat I’m reluctantly forced to admit I’m not only liking a lot of things I previously never thought I would ever want to try, but that I’m eagerly looking forward to some of them?
Okay,mostof them.Fuck.
I certainly accepted this job feeling like an imposter. Like they made a mistake putting any level of trust in me. That by giving me any responsibility meant they were making a huge mistake. I basically took the job because Casey and I were already secretly involved with each other, and she told me I was now her deputy chief of staff.
Now?
Maybe I do hate some of what we do. I hate it when George takes out his anger on me.
I hate that there are things inside him I don’t know if I can help him heal.
I hate that he lost the love of his life. But if what we do together in any way helps him, then why should I feel guilty about that?
And I’m starting to crave…things.
I’m starting to craveHim.
That should fricking terrify the hell out of me, yet part of me wants it even morebecauseof that terror.
Because despite the terror there is a level of safety I feel, even if Casey is worried for me and threatens to quit and take me with her if George doesn’t toe her line.
Months ago, I would have followed her to the ends of the earth and back without hesitation.
Now?
I’m pretty sure if she tried to leave and order me to go with her that I’d have to tell her no. That would also break my heart, because I love her.
What’s more? I don’twanther to leave. Iwanther to stay. I want to convince hershecan trust George, too.
Which is weird because they’ve known each other for literally most of my life. George was married to Casey’s best friend. He’s seventeen years older than me, and she’s fifteen years older than me.
Iknowshe wants him. I can see the hunger in her eyes when she watches us together.
I can see the desire in his eyes when he watches her with me, or even just at work, when he thinks neither of us are paying attention.
Iwant the best of both worlds.
I’m a greedy, masochistic slut, apparently.
Except I have a feeling that the pain both of them are wrapped in might destroy all three of us if it’s allowed to get out of hand.
That’s why I have to be careful. I need to figure out how to heal George privately, while publicly pretending he’s only my boss. Especially during his re-election bid for governor.
I can’t be a distraction.
I can’t be anything but his deeply buried dirty secret.
Ihaveto learn how to walk that high-wire, and it’s all on-the-job training.
I cannotfail, because our state needs him.
His children need him.
