Casey releasesme. “Youreallydidn’t know?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t think she was serious. You know, spank-bank fodder. Screwing around in bed and talking.”
Casey snorts. “No, George. She was absolutely serious.”
She steps back and leans against the counter, bracing her hands on it, studying me again for a moment before she speaks. “Sometimes, I’m going to want to be here and be a part of what you dowith him formyreasons. But, no offense? I’m not sleeping with or submitting toyou.”
That conflicts me for a lot of reasons.
“Want to know why?” she asks.
I shrug.
“Because I’ve known you for so long. I’m afraid to take things too quickly with you. Would I like to sleep with you? Maybe. Eventually. If we can get you through this and to a point where the GeorgeIknow and love is back forgood. I trusted that George completely. I’d sleep withthatGeorge in a heartbeat.”
That shocks me. “Why don’t you trust me?”
“Declan let youchokehim. Multiple times. You could’vekilledhim. And that’s another rule—no more goddamned breath play. I could’vestrangledthat boy when he told me that—and yes, Ifullyappreciate the irony in that statement. I’d like to say he’s got a great senseof self-preservation but it’s obvious he doesn’t anymore. Not when it comes to you.”
I think about the brilliant, beaming smile on Dec’s face as he came, what it did to me, how it lit my own soul, and I nod. “Okay.”
She sighs. “No one but us, either. Declan can be with either of us, and you can be with Declan, and I’ll be with him, butnoone else.”
Frankly, I can’t think about anyone elsebuthim. The thought of making myself vulnerable to someone else practically nauseates me with fear.
“Agreed,” I say.
She crosses her arms over her chest. “I missyou, George. I know you’ve been through a horrible experience. We all loved her, and I miss her like hell, but I also missmyGeorge. My friend the fun-loving guy. The buddy I used to snuggle up with in college to watch horror movies.You’re the only guy I could trust.”
That…is news to me. “What do you mean I’m the only guy you could trust?”
“I didn’t have it easy growing up. I knew you were faithful to Ellen. You wouldn’t have cheated on her if forced to at gunpoint. I could go out with you two, or to a party, or whatever, and trust you’d keep me safe the way you kept her safe. How many times did you have to carry me infrom the car and put me to bed because I was sloppy damn drunk?”
“Too many,” I mutter, trying not to think about Aussie and hoping she won’t make dumb-ass decisions like that. Another reason I want her to have EPU protection.
“Too many,” she echoes. “And younevertook advantage of me. Ellen knew I wouldn’t try to snipe you out from under her, either.” She sighs. “I’ve never told you about mychildhood because, honestly? I was afraid it’d disgust you and you’d want to give me a wide berth.”
This is news. I mean, I knew she had an abusive childhood, but that’s about all she’d say on the matter. Ellen knew more, but she never expounded on that, and I know it was because Case asked her not to.
Case also never had a steady boyfriend in college. I used to tease Ellen that Case was justpicky, and, later, I wasn’t entirely convinced that maybe she wasn’t gay. Not that it mattered to me, because it didn’t, but this is Tennessee and not exactly the most liberal area. Later…
Well, you know what I thought later.
“Do I get to make rules?” I ask.
“Depends on what it is. My first priority is Declan’s well-being.”
“You tell me what happened to you,” I say. “I want to know why youcan’t trust people.”
I get the head tilt. “Not right now,” she says. “If we get to a point where I can trust you again, maybe. You have to earn that first. If you earn my trust back, yes, I’ll tell you.”
“How does that happen?”
“I don’t know.” She slowly shakes her head. “Because you don’t even trust yourself right now. Declan trusts you, which is why I can let him keep doing this, but I’mnot there yet. I’d like to be. Under different circumstances, I would be willing to see what might happen between us.”
I blink. “What?”
NowI get the arched eyebrow. “Yes, I’m attracted to you, George. I always have been. You’re a gorgeous fucking man who’s only gotten better with age. Yes, I’m jealous Declan gets to have fun with you. But after two-plus decades of you being with Ellen, I’mcomfortable living with my jealousy. Like I said, you haven’t scared me off.Yet. Doesn’t mean Itrustyou, though.”
