Xavier smiled against my lips. “Let’s take a quick shower and then I’ll feed you. Ellie gave me some new recipes to try out on you, if you’re feeling brave.”
“They’ll be amazing, love.”
Our shower was much quicker than I wanted, but I was starved to death. Xavier gave me a rundown on the menu and I couldn’t wait to eat the meal. I offered to help him, but he refused. He had marinated the skirt steak for a few hours and had already prepped and cut the vegetables. I watched as he prepared the corn, black beans, and tomato salsa.
“Let me at least fire up the grill for you.”
“Okay, but then you need to sit on your sexy ass and tell me what happened with your mom at the office.”
I had started out the door, but jerked to a stop. “Who told?”
“I just know these things, babe.”
“Ian or Chase? Which one of them called you, because there was no way you could have predicted a showdown with Beverly today.”
“I can’t reveal my sources.” Xavier’s playful voice had me laughing out loud as I turned on the gas grill and cleaned it with the wire brush. I hung up the brush and walked back in the kitchen and all of my good humor vanished when I saw that we had company.Just how long had I been outside?
“Bennett.” He was the man I wanted to love me unconditionally, but I came to the conclusion years ago that resigned tolerance would be the best I could hope for out of him. Yet, there was something different in his eyes when he stood in my kitchen that night.
“Daniel.” I stared at him for a few seconds in shock until the awkward silence of the moment registered. Thankfully, years of good etiquette kicked in to help me out. “Xavier, this is my father, Daniel St. Claire.” I pulled Xavier against me and the heat of him melted the tension that was beginning to build. “Daniel, this is my boyfriend, Xavier Cruz.”
Xavier stepped forward and held out his hand for my father to shake. I expected Daniel to sneer at him and ignore the gesture, but instead he shook Xavier’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Xavier.”
“Likewise,” Xavier replied politely. He turned to me with an encouraging smile. “I’m going to turn off the grill and head upstairs to give you two some privacy.”
“You don’t have to do that, babe.” I wanted – no needed – his warmth to help get me through this confrontation. I wouldn’t say those things in front of my father, because he’d see me as weak and that wouldn’t help me when I tried to take a stand. But, I saw that the situation made Xavier feel uncomfortable so I held back the plea for him to stay. Xavier went outside briefly to turn off the grill. He stood on his tiptoes and gave me a reassuring kiss and gently squeezed my hand before he went upstairs. I missed his warmth immediately.
I turned to face my father once Xavier was out of sight. I pinned him to the spot where he stood with my steady gaze. “I hope you’re not here to lecture me on how I treated Beverly this afternoon,” I told Daniel. “If so, you can turn around and walk out the same door you came in.”
“I’m not here about your mother, Bennett.” He swallowed hard and then cleared his throat as if what he had to say was lodged there. “I’m here to apologize for the way I’ve treated you and tell you that someday I hope you can forgive me.”
I didn’t know exactly what I expected Daniel to say, but that definitely wasn’t it. I would have been less surprised if he pulled out a gun and shot me, which was a sad state of affairs between a father and a son. Truly, I wasn’t sure I wanted his apology after all of this time, nor did I know if I could forgive him for the things he said and the way he treated me while I was growing up in his home.
“Will you at least hear me out?” Daniel’s voice was one I had never heard before that night. It was softer than usual and full of pleading.
I could send his sorry ass packing – no one would’ve blamed me – or, I could hear what he had to say. I chose the latter, because at the minimum the bastard owed me an apology and I was going to get it. I silently gestured to the kitchen table with my hand indicating that Daniel should have a seat. There was no mistaking the relief in his features over his small victory.
“Thank you, Bennett.”
“Don’t thank me yet, Daniel. I’ll hear what you have to say, but you can bet your ass that I’ll have the final word once you’re done.” I sat down across the table from my dad, afraid to hope that this would be the first step to reconciliation with him.
“NATALIE, COULD YOUgive Ben and I few minutes to look around privately?”
“Sure, Xavier,” the realtor said with a smile. “I’ll just step out on the front porch and return some phone calls. Let me know if you have any questions.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
What Ben didn’t know was that Chase and I already looked at this house last week when he was in Tampa. I saw it online and I swear I could imagine Ben and me in every room that was pictured. I could visualize Ben leaning against the kitchen cabinet while he drank coffee out of his favorite cup and his robe hanging on the hook in the master bathroom. I called Natalie and requested a showing and she promised to keep it a secret. This house felt like home to me the minute I crossed the threshold and now I just wanted to make sure Ben felt the same way.
“What do you think about this one?” Ben asked after we toured the Cape Cod style house with four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a spectacular great room, and a finished walkout basement. “I know it seems like too much space, but maybe you could put a studio in the basement someday instead of renting out a studio to record your music.” What he didn’t say was how disappointed he was that I hadn’t played our song for him yet, but I had to make it perfect and I wanted the moment to be just right.
I truly wanted to do something special for him, especially after his showdown with his mom and dad. It had been almost a month since his dad came over and Ben still hadn’t said much about it. Maybe it was because he had recognized that there was no future relationship for him and his dad, or maybe it was because he didn’t want to burden me with his problems. I was afraid it was the latter, and it upset me that he didn’t think I was strong enough to support him in his time of need. If we didn’t learn to lean on one another then we were doomed to fall apart.
My heart ached at the thought of Ben not being in my life. I mean, I was looking at houses with the idea that he’d someday live with me. I needed to make sure we were on the same page or I risked an emotional wreckage that could be dangerous to my recovery, which was precisely why new relationships were not recommended at this early stage. I was learning that sweeping my concerns under a rug didn’t make them go away, it just temporarily hid them so that they festered and became larger and more worrisome when I revisited them later.
We were standing in the basement looking out the wall of windows when Ben laid his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my chest to hold me tight. Funny how Ben restraining me gave me none of the triggers I expected to feel. Again, it was a sign of how deeply I loved and trusted him. He started nibbling at the bottom of my neck, which always led to other things.
“Ben?”
