MY HOSPITAL STAY ONLYlasted a few more days after I woke up so I could be observed and have extra time to recover from my concussion. I was told that I would have lingering effects for weeks or possibly months afterward, but at least I could rest at home. It was impossible to get any real rest at the hospital with all the noise of the machines, nurses and doctors coming in and out at all times of the day and night, and my body’s need to come.
Maverick spent almost every minute by my side looking like sex on steroids and yet he wouldn’t give me a quickie – not a hand job, blow job, or anything. He said it was because there was no privacy in the room, but I suspected it was more than that. I saw the hurt in his eyes when I would ask questions about the time we spent together and how we fell in love all over again. I hated hurting him like that, but I had so many questions. He patiently answered each and every one of them, but he became more and more distant with every answer. It was if he began building a wall with every question that I asked and every answer was another brick stacked in the mortar made from his misery.
It didn’t help that I acted like a horny teenager all of the time. It had reduced everything that we built between us to nothing more than sex. My final day in the hospital was tense and uncomfortable and I wanted more than anything to fix it. Instead of acting like an adult, I pouted and grew snappy with those who only wanted to help me.
“I want to go home and I want to see my dog.” I missed Madge so much, but that was no excuse to act like a petulant five-year-old.
“She misses you too, honey.” My mom smoothed my hair off of my forehead. “It won’t be much longer now.”
“Where’s Maverick?” He had kissed me on the forehead and told me he’d be back in time to take me home, but he hadn’t returned. His absence made me even more miserable. My heart knew it loved him, but my brain couldn’t remember. Sure, I remembered the childhood infatuation I had with him and the emotions he made me feel, but not the same intensity that I saw in his eyes when he looked at me.
“He’ll be back soon.” My dad answered patiently for the fifth time in an hour. I couldn’t stand myself right then – the neediness, the whiny-ass complaining, and the anger I felt toward the person who stripped away my happy memories and nearly killed me. More than anything, I feared that Maverick would disappear again from my life. “He wanted to make sure the house was perfect for your homecoming.”
Maverick naked on a bed was all I wanted, but I wisely kept my mouth shut. My parents obviously approved of my relationship with Maverick, but that didn’t mean they wanted to hear all the horny details. They had planned on staying with us for another week or so while I continued to recover. I’d have to keep quiet, but I had no intention of letting Maverick build more distance between us or ignore my needs. I didn’t intend to play fair either. He couldn’t disguise his need for me any better than I could for him, but he was acting mature and trying to put my best interests before his physical needs. Fuck that! Maybe being naked with him was exactly what I needed to trigger my memory.
I pouted silently all throughout the discharge process of my final exam, pages of at-home-care instructions, and signing papers so I could leave. Finally, it was time to leave, yet Maverick hadn’t returned like he promised. I guessed some things never changed.
“I saw Josie in the hallway and she said you were cleared to go,” Maverick said when he breezed into my room like he hadn’t been gone for hours. I bet he was home taking care of his needs while I laid in blue-ball hell.
“An hour ago” I groused. “Looks like you haven’t changed much in the past twenty-two years, Mav. You’re pretty good at disappearing.” I might as well have just stabbed him in the heart with a pair of dull, rusty scissors. It probably would’ve hurt him less. God, I was such a prick!
“That’s enough out of you, Noah.” My dad’s firm voice boomed in the room. Wow, it had been awhile since my dad channeled his years as a gunnery sergeant to scold me. I found myself sitting up straighter with a sudden urge to salute him. “You’ve been asking for him for hours and now that he’s here you’re acting like a spoiled brat. It’s damn disappointing how you’re treating him.”
“It’s okay, Art.” Maverick patted him on the shoulder. “This is harder on him than it is us. I can’t imagine having a few months of memories taken away from me.” He swallowed hard and I felt even worse. There was no doubt how much this man loved me, while all I showed him was my desire to get fucked.
“It’s not okay,” I said to Maverick. I turned to my dad, “I’m sorry, Dad, that I’ve acted this way. Mav, I didn’t mean what I said. I just really want to go home.”
The tension in the room eased and I started to feel better with every minute that brought me closer to home. Especially when we pulled into the driveway at Elijah’s Landing and it looked so perfect and welcoming. I had been shocked to learn that I had sold my D.C. practice and accepted a job in Morehead City, but a feeling of rightness overwhelmed me when I slid out of the car and stepped onto the driveway.
Maverick took my hand in his and gave me a brilliant smile. “Welcome home.” The soft kiss he planted on my lips caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach and my heartbeat accelerated. If such a simple kiss could move me so, what would it feel like to have his large, hot body pin me to a bed beneath him. I planned on finding out at my earliest opportunity. I vowed he wouldn’t resist me much longer. “Ready?”
I nodded and he led me through the front door with my parents following behind us. My excitement at being home and my devious plans to seduce my boyfriend died an instant death when I didn’t recognize anything about the place. I stood frozen in the entryway and looked around. I finally picked out bits and pieces of familiar furniture or decorations, but most of it was new to me.
It shook me more than it should. Logically, I knew that Maverick had moved in with me and that things would be different. Maybe I thought I would walk through the door, see our combined belongings, and I’d have insta-memory. I was dejected that it didn’t happen that way. Then my eyes landed on vases of fresh flowers placed around the room and the “welcome home balloons” on the dining room table. Suddenly, I understood what Maverick had been up to that day and it made my heart hurt at how I had lashed out at him.
“Thank you, Mav. It’s a really beautiful gesture.” If only I could remember moving his stuff into my house and the moments that led up to us joining our lives together. Every ounce of energetic excitement left me right then and I found myself leaning into him – needing him for comfort and strength.
“It’s going to be okay, Noah,” Maverick whispered into my hair.
“What if I never remember?”
“Then I’ll make you fall in love with me all over again.” He sounded so certain and I let his conviction be enough for both of us right then.
“Is it okay if I go lay down for a bit? I can’t believe I’m asking that after only being out of bed for thirty minutes, but I’m exhausted all of a sudden.” It felt like a three-ton boulder was pressing down on me.
I hugged my parents tight and then followed Maverick upstairs to the room that we shared. The only thing I recognized was the furniture, everything else had been changed. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked around as I tried to force memories that wouldn’t come.
“Stop,” Maverick cupped my face in his large hand, “or you’ll give yourself a headache.”
“Already there,” I replied with a weak smile.
“Let’s get you undressed and into bed. Minnie will be bringing Madge home in a little while. She’s missed you so much.” Maverick knelt down and began taking off my shoes. Seeing him between my legs was making the ache in my head ease as all the blood flowed south.
“Oh yeah,” I said, sounding like a lecherous perv, “feeling better by the second.” Maverick stood up once my feet were bare and reached for my shirt before gently pulling it over my head. I laid down on the bed and let my legs dangle over the edge. “You’re not finished.” I pointed to my jeans.
“Noah.” His voice held reproach, but his eyes were filled with the same pent-up frustration and desire I felt. “I need to ask you a serious question and I need an honest answer from you.” I nodded my head slowly, because all teasing aside, a nasty headache was brewing in my skull. “Do you want me to move into another bedroom and give you some space right now or back into my old apartment? Your parents are here and can stay as long as you…”
I sat up too fast and nearly cried out from the pain I inflicted on myself. I hadn’t been thinking about my headache, just the need to shut Maverick up. Just the idea of him moving into another room sent panic racing through my blood, but moving out altogether? No fucking way! I might not have remembered the past few months, but I vividly remembered the devastation I felt at sixteen when he fell off the face of the earth. I couldn’t go through that kind of pain again.
