“I’m okay, Liam. It will take a lot more than that to kill me.” Jack ran his hands through my hair and kissed my forehead in an attempt to calm me, but it didn’t work. I clutched his shirt tighter in my fists as images of Jack lying on the concrete with a cracked skull played through my brain on a torturous loop, squeezing my heart in a painful grip. “Ace, I’m not going anywhere. I just found you and I refuse to believe that we won’t grow old together.” Jack titled my face up to look at him. He caressed my cheek and looked at me with so much love in his eyes that I forgot to be afraid for a moment. “The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you ask me to go.”
“No,” I shook my head fervently from side to side, “that’s never going to happen.”
“I’m not going anywhere, so let’s get tucked into bed and try to sleep for a little while.” Jack undressed me slowly before removing his own clothes. I climbed into bed beside him and snuggled as close as I could get, throwing my leg over his thighs. Jack’s warm chuckle stirred my hair as I nestled my head over his heart. “I love you.” Those were the last words I heard before exhaustion took over and I fell into a deep sleep.
I woke up a few hours later and felt anything but refreshed. Jack slept soundly beside me while Charlie was curled up at our feet. I thought about taking a shower but decided that a good run might be better to dust off the fatigue. I quietly dressed, grabbed Charlie’s leash, and left Jack a note letting him know where Charlie and I went.
The late morning had a chilly bite to it as Charlie and I set off at a brisk walk. Once I felt my muscles had warmed up enough, I graduated to a steady jog before I let myself break into a full out run. Charlie kept pace with me every step of the way; I found his presence both comforting and protective as we made our way along my favorite trail. I realized just how predictable I had become when a familiar figure stood off to the side of the trail at the midway mark. I wasn’t going to make eye contact with him or acknowledge him in any way.
“Liam, please stop for a minute,” Kenner said, stepping into the trail in front of me. “I want to explain.” It wasn’t the pleading expression on his face or in his tone that caused me to stop; it was the need to put that ghost behind me for good. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, Kenner.” My voice was practically a snarl. Charlie sensed my distress and began to growl, causing Kenner to back up a few steps. “Wise decision, asshole.”
“I wasn’t part of Justin’s attack, Liam. I swear it.” He held his arms in a pleading motion. I wanted to believe him; I didn’t want to think someone I once cared so much about would do something so horrible to hurt the man I loved and me in the process. I also knew that Justin wouldn’t throw Kenner under the bus even if he had been involved.
I stood straighter as I faced him down. “You better be telling me the truth, Kenner, because if I think you were behind the attack on Jack I won’t stop until you’re arrested.”
“I didn’t… I wouldn’t,” he stuttered. “I’ve never been a violent person, you know this.” Kenner ran a hand through his hair in agitation and blew out a shaky breath. “I used Justin knowing that I wouldn’t come out to my family and I have to answer to that, Liam. I feel fucking horrible.” He was visibly shaking and the young boy I used to be wanted to comfort him, but that would blur the lines I had drawn and I wasn’t willing to do that.
“Yes, you do have to answer for playing with peoples’ hearts and using them, but if Justin did act alone you are not responsible for his actions.” Kenner looked at me hopefully. “Justin’s actions are those of a mentally imbalanced person, Kenner. He obviously needs help.”
“What’s going to happen to him?” I heard fear in his voice and I wanted to believe it was for his friend. “Is he going to jail?”
Was he afraid his reliable booty call was going to jail or was he actually worried about Justin? Either way, I was fucking pissed. He didn’t ask about how Jack was doing. Kenner only cared about Kenner – just like always. “He hit my boyfriend in the back of the head with a golf club. He tried to kill Jack to make me suffer, because you wanted me more than him. He wanted to take away the man I love like I supposedly did to him.” I was feeling levels of anger I’d never felt before and I was starting to fear for Kenner’s safety. “Do you know how it feels to have the man you want to spend your life with attacked on his way home to you?” I inched closer to Kenner while Charlie began to growl. “What you’re probably mostly afraid of is that you get outed during this entire ordeal with Justin. You don’t want people to know just how much you like cock.” I laughed in derision as the truth of my accusation was validated by the pallor of his skin. “You’re afraid that I’ll tell everyone all your dirty little secrets aren’t you? I bet you’re freaked out over Justin’s statement going public.”
“S-s-stop,” Kenner stuttered. “I’m not like you, Liam. My family isn’t understanding like your family and they’ll have nothing more to do with me. They think your homosexual lifestyle is disgusting and can’t believe that we were ever friends. I had to deny knowing you were gay to avoid scrutiny that I didn’t need. Please…”
“The fact you think I’m capable of such atrocious behavior shows just how little you know me. You thought you knew me because we had sex for a few years, but my favorite sex positions is the only thing you really learned.” I looked him up and down, certain I was sneering at him with the disgust I felt. “I would never out you to your family, but I have no control what happens with Justin or his confession. That is a matter for you to take up with the police department and district attorney.” I took the final step until just a few inches separated us. I could still see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes, but I couldn’t work up an ounce of compassion for him. “Do not ever show up at the bar again. Do not approach me if you run into me in public. Don’t pull a stunt like you did today. I want nothing to do with you ever again.”
“Liam, I…” Kenner was cut off by Charlie’s ferocious bark. “Okay. Okay.” He threw up his hands in surrender and backed up slowly. “I am sorry for everything,” he said quietly before he turned around and walked toward the parking lot.
I didn’t watch him walk away; I wouldn’t give him another second of my time. Charlie and I resumed our run until we reached the final mile where we shifted to cool down mode with a walk. The run did exactly what I needed it to do and believe it or not, seeing Kenner helped revive me too. I guess anger did that to a person. I didn’t want to be angry anymore though. Anger was a useless emotion that did no good for anyone. It only caused bitterness and resentment and there was no room for either in my life.
Jack was in the kitchen scrambling eggs when Charlie and I walked inside the loft. Regardless of what he said, I saw the bruise across his shoulder where the club came down. If the entire blow had landed on his head then I was certain we wouldn’t both be standing in his kitchen right then. The reality of the situation caused tears to burn in the back of my eyes.
Jack heard us enter the loft and turned to greet us. The smile slid off his face when he recognized the look on my face. He opened his arms and I threw myself into them. “It’s just a bruise,” he said nuzzling his nose against my temple. “It will fade in a few days.” He was right. If I focused all my energy on what could’ve happened then I would miss what was happening right in front of me – like Jack about to burn our scrambled eggs.
I rescued Jack and our breakfast while he toasted bread and poured orange juice. “I ran into Kenner during my run this morning.” I saw Jack stiffen out of the corner of my eyes. “He swore he wasn’t involved and of course wanted to know what would happen to Justin. Not one fucking time did he ask if you were okay. He’s really only worried that he’ll be outed if the police statement goes public or I’ll tell all and sundry that he’s a cock addict.” I shook my head, still not believing how little Kenner knew me. I turned the burner off, set down my spatula, and turned to Jack. He was watching me closely with a guarded expression. “I told him that I better not see him again. He better not come into the bar, he better not lie in wait for me on my favorite jogging trail, and he better turn away if we meet in public.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t think he’s to blame for Justin’s actions if Justin truly acted alone. Yes, Kenner toyed with Justin like he did me, but that doesn’t make what Justin did acceptable.”
I saw Jack visibly relax at my resolute words. I wanted him to know that Kenner was not a threat to our relationship. I wouldn’t go back to Kenner if Jack stopped loving me. “You’ll let me know if he doesn’t heed your warning.” It wasn’t a question.
“Absolutely.”
“Bevan called me this morning with a Jeremiah update,” Jack said once we were seated at the table.
“What did he say?” I asked, setting down my fork. I was more interested in Jeremiah than eggs.
“He’s living in a nursing home in Vermont,” Jack said quietly, but I could see the deeper emotion in his eyes. “Bevan gave me the address for his grandson, Joseph, who is listed as his guardian. I’m going to send him a letter and ask permission to meet his grandfather.”
“Babe, that’s a wonderful idea.”
“You’ll come with me, right? This is our journey together.” I loved how much he shared with me and how included he made me feel. I wouldn’t miss the trip for the world, which was what I told him. I was rewarded with a warm smile and sweet kiss before we ate our breakfast.
I wasn’t scheduled to work and Jack decided to take the night off with me. He told Trevor what happened and put him in charge of the bar. Trevor was shocked to hear that Jack had been attacked, but was grateful the guy didn’t seriously injure him and had been arrested.
We ordered Chinese takeout and spent the night lazing around together, watching movies or our favorite TV shows on Netflix. It was just the kind of evening we needed after the early morning we had. I laid on the couch in front of Jack while he snuggled up against my back. I loved the heavy weight of his arm laying across my waist and the feel of his breath rustling my hair. The sound of the crackling fireplace and my full stomach had me feeling sleepy. Thoughts of Jeremiah and Big Jack popped into my head just as I was about to take a trip to dreamland. I suddenly wanted to hear more of their story, painful as it might be.
“Jack.”
