“Sorry,” I said with a laugh. “I was recalling the shopping trip when you made it easy for me to admit that I was gay. I don’t think I ever thanked you enough for the way you handled that, Mom.” I looked into her compassionate blue eyes and smiled broadly. “I wish I could gift a mom like you to every kid on the planet.”
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, Liam.” She placed her hand over her heart and smiled brightly. “So, what made you relive that moment just now?”
“I have very strong feelings for my boss, Jack, and he’s not come out to his family.” God, it felt so good to talk to someone about the situation. I couldn’t talk to Chase and Gray about it, because they both knew Jack and it would’ve felt like I betrayed his trust. It wasn’t like my mom was going to out Jack to anyone.
“Oh, I see,” she said kindly, “this reminds you of how things went down with Kenner Wilcox.”
Kenner Wilcox was the son of our family friend. Our families did everything together, including vacations so we were thrown together a lot. He had a sister, Kendra, who was the same age as Leah and they were stuck like glue also. Kenner also happened to be the first boy I gave my heart and body to, but he was too afraid to tell his parents that he was gay. Bart and Jillian Wilcox wouldn’t have been as understanding as my parents.
Kenner would hold me tight, whispering words of love while we had sex, but he never really intended to tell his parents. He made me feel used and dirty, not good enough to love openly. It’s not something I would wish on anyone. I became depressed and withdrawn when I figured out his game and my parents got concerned. They approached me one evening and I told them everything. I’m sure it was hard for them to hear how badly Kenner hurt me and how uncomfortable I was hanging out with their best friends, but they wanted the truth so I gave it to them. A small part of me worried they would tell me to suck it up and get over it, but they didn’t do that at all. They were angry that Kenner used me so poorly and started making excuses to the Wilcox’s as to why we couldn’t hang out with them. It didn’t take them long to get tired of being pushed aside before they found another set of friends to vacation and hang out with at the country club.
I worked at the same country club for a short while, but the Wilcox’s started making trouble by hinting around to other members that I had hit on Kenner and he didn’t return my affection and rejected me. Oh, he rejected me alright, but not until after he fucked me ten ways to Sunday. I could’ve confronted them about their lies, but it wouldn’t have done any good. They would have said I was lying and it was my word against all of theirs. The job wasn’t worth it. They weren’t worth it.
“It reminds me a lot of how I felt when Kenner and I were together,” I confessed to my mom. I blew out a frustrated breath. “He wants me physically, but that doesn’t mean he wants more from me. I won’t be a dirty secret anymore, Mom. I just don’t see him coming out to his family after all of this time.”
“Baby, I don’t want you to lose hope, but I respect that you’re holding your ground. You’re a beautiful person and you deserve someone who wants to show you off to the world and not hide you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I hugged her tight. “I always feel better after talking to you.”
“I’m here anytime you need me, Liam. You’ll always be my baby no matter how old you get.” She pulled back and kissed my cheek. My phone buzzed with an incoming text in my pocket. I pulled the phone from my pocket and saw that Jack texted me. “Is that him?” I nodded and unlocked my phone to read the message.
Can I see you tonight?
Yes, I replied without thinking and then typed,I’ll stop in after my shift.
I wasn’t good for much after that brief text exchange with Jack. I hung out with my family for a little while longer then drove back to my apartment to do my laundry and cleaning. My mind was on Jack and our upcoming night together. I rolled every possible scenario around in my brain while I showered and took extra care in grooming myself – just in case.
Nerves ate at my insides as I drove the short distance to Bottoms Up. It seemed like a waste to drive my car such a short distance, but I didn’t like the idea of walking home at 2:00 a.m. I sat in my car for a few extra minutes, chewing my lips as my thoughts churned so much that I was making myself sick with worry and dread. Why did I have to think such anxious thoughts about him rejecting us before we had a chance to see what we could have? Why couldn’t I think positively and remember that Jack Murphy was a hundred times the man that Kenner Wilcox could ever hope to be?
I reluctantly got out of the car and entered the rear entrance of the bar, which opened into a long hallway where Jack’s office was located. I thought about stopping by his office to get whatever it was he had to say out in the open. I didn’t want to work an entire shift with my stomach tied in knots, especially if Trevor was working. My distress would be like blood in the water and he’d be the circling shark waiting for the right moment to chomp the fuck out of my leg. I was wavering back and forth on whether or not to stop when the decision was made for me.
Jack’s strong arm reached out and pulled me into his office before I could pass. I found myself pressed up against his closed office door once again – a familiar position, but not an unpleasant one. Jack captured my mouth in a ravaging kiss, and it was like gasoline on a flame, igniting my lust and longing for him. I was going to cave in, regardless of my tough talk at my mom’s house. His animalistic aggression had my cock hard and leaking in the confines of my underwear. Being taken by him was all I could focus on at that moment.
My hands touched him everywhere, roaming over his broad back, his smooth head, and cupping his firm ass. I was ready to wrap my legs around his waist and give myself over to him right then and there. Jack wasn’t fairing any better, if the growls and groans coming from his throat were any indication. He slid his strong hands into my hair and tugged my head back, arching my neck.
“I told them I was gay. All of them, Liam. I made a huge fucking announcement, because I’m not willing to spend another damn day without knowing what you taste like, how you feel naked in my arms, and how you look lying on the pillow beside mine.” His kiss swollen lips almost distracted me from his words. I looked up into his light green eyes and saw the truth in his words. “I promise that I will wine and dine you later, but this has been building up between us for too long for me to push aside another night.”
My ardor dimmed somewhat out of concern for him and how his announcement was received by his family. I placed my hands alongside his neck and felt his pulse thundering beneath my thumbs. “How’d it go? Are you okay?” A huge smile lit up his face, mesmerizing me. I relaxed against his broad chest, because he couldn’t be that happy if his world had just been turned upside down.
“It was unbelievable.” Each word was said between kisses on my neck. I could feel the scruff along his jaw scraping my sensitive skin, but it felt incredible. Plus, I knew I’d be wearing his mark for the rest of the night. “My parents were upset that I hadn’t come to them sooner and were disappointed that I didn’t have more faith in them, but they also understood my hesitations.” Jack cupped my face in his large hands and looked so tenderly in my eyes. “I’m a very lucky man, Liam.”
“I’m so happy for you.” My heart pounded in my chest, because the potent look in his eyes told me he was ready to move our relationship past a few relatively innocent kisses.
“Will you come home with me after your shift is over? Can I remove every piece of clothing and get to know every inch of your body?” Jack lowered his head and pressed his mouth against my ear and in a voice roughened by desire asked, “Can I have you tonight?”
I closed my eyes and let his words wash over me. Need buzzed beneath my skin like ten thousand hungry bees, there wasn’t a single part of me that didn’t vibrate over the thought of giving myself to him. I wanted to feel him all over my body, to know how it felt to have his warm, naked body pressed against mine. I had spent so much time fantasizing about the man, that it didn’t seem real that my dreams were about to come true. I opened my eyes and saw the same want and need I had been feeling reflecting in his eyes.
“God yes.” My breath left me in a rush as I was once against crushed against his chest, but I soon forgot about the need for air when Jack’s lips touched mine again. He invaded all my senses and touched me everywhere with just a kiss. I was left wondering how I’d be able to work my shift knowing that what I’d been wanting for so long would happen after the bar closed.
Eventually, Jack sent me to the bar to work my shift with kiss-swollen lips and scruff marks on my neck. If that wasn’t obvious enough then the obnoxious smile I wore gave me away. My face actually hurt from smiling so big and so often. I wanted my mouth to be deliciously sore from a completely different activity and then my mind went there - to lying on sweat-soaked sheets with Jack’s hands tangled in my hair while I worked his dick in and out of my mouth. I knew I had to get my shit together when I almost dropped a mug of beer when I envisioned him spilling onto my tongue while yelling my name so loud that every person in a two mile radius heard it.
I caught Trevor’s annoyed expression a few times, but I didn’t let him get to me; in fact, it made me smile even brighter. I wasn’t sure what Jack had said to him after he had overheard Trevor giving me shit, but whatever he said had worked. I couldn’t be sure my luck would hold forever, because it had to be obvious to everyone that there was a difference in the way Jack watched me that night.
He was a silent sentinel, watching every move that I made. I felt his hot gaze boring through my clothes and warming my flesh. It felt like hours of torturous foreplay and it kept me on edge the entire shift. The buzzing sensation I felt in his office returned and had magnified to the point that I expected to be lifted off the ground by the time my shift ended.
No words were spoken when I placed my hand in his and followed him to his loft. Once inside, he turned and faced me, his eyes so full of heated promise that I thought I might die from the pleasure he would give me. I half expected to be tossed over his shoulder and hauled to his room, but instead he pulled me into a tender hug and held me tight against his chest.
“It feels like I’ve been waiting for you my entire life, Liam, and I am scared to death of fucking this up. Please don’t let me do that.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the sex part or the relationship part, but it comforted me that he cared enough to be concerned. “We don’t have to have sex tonight, Liam. I need you to know this isn’t about sex and I can’t do that if I’m unwilling to show some damn restraint. I should do this proper, I should take you out to dinner first and then make love to you. I don’t want to rush you and ruin everything. This intensity that I’m feeling worries me that I might hurt you or…”
