Sully and Hunter were on the front porch when we returned. Their eyes met mine and held when I climbed the steps to the front porch. It was a far cry improvement from their reaction my announcement received in the house. Dad patted me on the back and nodded at the guys before he went inside the cabin.
“You could’ve told me, Dragon,” Sully said as soon as the door closed behind my dad. Dragon was the nickname they gave me in the Army. “Sure, I would’ve been surprised, but I still would’ve had your back. Always.”
“Thanks, Sully. The truth of the matter was thatIdidn’t feel comfortable enough being gay. I was in denial for a very long time and it was easier to live the lie than tell the truth.” I looked over at Hunter, “How about you? You okay with this?”
“I’m shocked, Dragon. There’s a lot of things I thought you might say other than you fell in love with a dude.” Hunter shrugged, but gave me a tentative smile. “You were still the bravest, bad ass in a Ranger uniform and I’m proud to have served under you.” His face turned bright red when he realized how his words could’ve been misconstrued. “Under your command, that is.”
“Relax, Hunter,” I said with understanding. “I knew what you meant. I wasn’t going to tease you and make you uncomfortable.” I reached over and slugged his upper arm playfully.
“Why not? I would,” Sully said with a sneer.
“Fuck you, Sully.” Hunter’s words held no heat and it looked like we weathered the storm pretty well.
“Be honest, Dragon. Which one of us did you fantasize about the most? I’m taller with bigger muscles, but Hunter has a bigger dick by a few inches.”
“Jesus Fucking Christ,” Hunter blurted rather loudly. “Quit looking at my dick.”
“You swung that thing around like a prize ribbon, Asshat. How could we not look?” Sully looked back at me with imploring eyes. “It was me wasn’t it, Dragon. Be honest.”
“No way, Sully,” Hunter argued and shoved Sully to the side. “I smell way better and I do have a bigger dick. It was me, right?” He batted his eyelashes at me playfully.
“You were both too much like brothers for me to think about sexually.” I gave them my best apologetic smile.
“That’s what I’d say too, Dragon.” Sully blew me a kiss.
They bantered back and forth for several minutes, before we bro-hugged it out and went inside to join my family. It was a humbling experience to know how much I was loved and accepted by my family. I absorbed this huge outpouring of love into my heart and brain to take out and wrap around me if times got tough for me again.
Whiskey and beer was passed around for several more hours, but I chose to drink water. I didn’t want to be hung over and feeling like shit the next day, because I would be driving back to D.C. and staking my claim on Liam. I laid in bed that night and sent up a prayer of thanks to my granddad for writing his letter and sharing his secret with me. He gave me the courage to be honest and live the life I wanted.
I fell into a peaceful sleep with dreams full of a hopeful future with a hazel-eyed guy with an ornery smile and sassy spirit. Instead of death and destruction, I dreamt of sweaty bodies writhing on sheets, arms and legs tangled around one another as I buried myself deep inside his welcoming body. Instead of blood and loss, I saw sexy smiles and heard whispered words in my ear. No more fear. No more hiding. Just love.
I DROVE TOmy parent’s house in South Kensington, Maryland like I did every Sunday. I forced myself to listen attentively to my dad when he spoke of the exciting things happening at his dealership and the charity golf tournament benefiting Alzheimer’s research that he’d just won. I complimented my mom on her delicious food and listened to Leah as she told me about her upcoming cheer competition that would send them to Nationals if they placed high enough. Even though I had commented in the right spots and nodded my head when it was appropriate, my mom still saw through me.
“What’s going on honey?” She asked as soon as I had followed her into the kitchen to help her clean up. Leah had also offered, but mom waived her and dad off. “Did you finally have that talk with Chase?” Lisa Connelly might have had her heart broken by Matthew Rivers, but her disgust with him didn’t extend to his older child. She encouraged me to go to Chase and had advocated for me to tell him the truth as soon as possible. I knew it disappointed her that I had allowed Chase to get to know me without being honest with him, even though she never let on.
“I finally told Chase that he was my brother.” I left out the part about the conflicting feelings I was developing for a closeted man. Her eyes widened in surprise and I could tell she had a hundred and one questions. “It was rough at first; he was obviously hurt that I hadn’t told him sooner.” I grinned when I remembered that it only took a few hours for Chase to reach back out to me. “It’s amazing how close we’ve become in a short time. I mean, he had already invited me to his and Gray’s house for barbecues and swim parties, but this is different. This is texting funny jokes at 11:00 pm on a Wednesday for just the hell of it. Oh,” I laughed, “he refers to me as Uncle Liam when he’s talking to his cat about me.”
“I’m so happy for you, baby,” my mom said, as she cupped my cheek. “He sounds like a wonderful young man. Do you like his husband?”
I thought of the man my brother married and couldn’t help but smile. “Gray is perfect for Chase; they’re amazing together. I can’t wait for you to meet them, Mom. It’s so cute when they finish each other’s sentences or start speaking at the same time. They’re connected like nothing I’ve ever seen before – including you and dad – and I hope to have that for myself someday.” My voice trailed off towards the end, because I had started to think about Jack.
“Where’d you go just now, Liam?” Moms sure didn’t miss much. A subtle change in the tone of a voice or a slight expression and they were all over it. “Have you met someone?”
I had never talked to my mom or dad about my feelings for Jack, but it wasn’t because they wouldn’t have supported me. They always had my back and I knew that. I was one lucky guy to have such awesome, supportive parents. I didn’t have a big coming out moment when I was a kid. My mom knew that I was gay and she didn’t want me to stew or worry over how they’d feel.
One day we were at the mall doing some school clothes shopping when she nodded to some boy about my age and said, “He’s cute, don’t you think?” That was it.
“Not my type,” I replied casually.
“Oh, how so?” She looked confused, like maybe she was wrong about me being gay.
“I prefer the more athletic type,” I said jokingly.
“Ahh, jocks,” she said, nodding her head. “You want to hit up the sporting goods store and scope the place out?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me, making me laugh.
I always knew how lucky I was to have such a supportive mother and I never took it for granted. Too many kids are still being rejected by their parents and if I could, I’d clone my mom and share her with every lonely kid who felt the sting of their family’s rejection.
“Annnd, I lost you again,” she teased.
