I pop the fried pickle in my mouth as I look back at Victor with a confused look. As soon as I bite down, I realize why he said that and I think I might throw up. Grabbing a napkin, I try to spit the fried mushroom in the napkin discreetly and crumple it. He hands me a glass of sweet tea and I take several gulps, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. I don’t like mushrooms and Victor remembers.
“I tried to warn you,” Victor says. “I could tell you zoned out a little when Lee was going over each thing.”
I give him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I should have been paying attention.”
He shakes his head slightly and leans forward, placing his hand on the back of my chair. “You don’t have to be sorry.”
I stare at him openly, trying to figure him out. He’s aged well with his dark hair. He doesn’t look forty-four. His mustache and beard are well trimmed. His shoulders are broad and his biceps are as big as my thighs. Glancing down at his tattoos then his ring, I reach out and touch it. Running my finger over the smooth metal.
“I knew Josie and I wouldn’t make it the first time she told me she didn’t want me wearing this anymore.”
I look at him from under my eyelashes. “Why wouldn’t she want you wearing it?”
He exhales loudly. “She was jealous.”
Leaning back, I tilt my head. “Of a thirteen-year-old girl?” That was ludicrous.
He lets out a mocking laugh. “And a car, a motorcycle, my business ventures.” He shakes his head. “If my attention wasn’t on her, she would get angry.”
I touch his forearm, feeling the strength under my fingertips. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Victor lifts his hand quickly toward me, and I flinch backward. His hand stops mid-air, and he goes completely still.Shit. Fuck.My tongue darts out and licks my lips. He slowly lowers his hand, then turns back toward the bar.
“Olivia, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” His voice is firm, but soft.
“Why do you insist on calling me Olivia? I don’t want to be called that.”
He faces me again and studies me. I don’t like it. It feels like he can see things I don’t want him to see. No one looks at me like he does.
“Why don’t you want to be called Olivia? When your mom named you, she said your name is Olivia and no one better call you anything else. It never bothered you before.”
My hands ball into fists at the reminder. “Things change.” My voice wavers. Donovan ruined everything. My throat closes up and my nose burns. “I’d like to go back to work.” He stares at me, but I lift my chin, trying to put on a brave face.
As he exhales, he nods. “Okay. I’ll go tell Lee. I’ll be back.”
He slides off the bar stool and walks away. Guilt hits me as I slide off my chair and walk toward the fireplace. I should have sucked it up and stayed so he could finish doing his taste test. Now I’ve messed up his plans, possibly his day. Staring blanklyat the fireplace, my chest tightens for the first time since he picked me up. I just want to be normal. As I rub my thumbnail along the cut on my finger, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to get through one damn day without feeling this way.
“Hey.”
Victor’s soft voice brings me back. I turn to face him, but I’m able to do it without getting upset. I’ve been focusing on putting all of these emotions in these tight little vials and putting them on the appropriate shelves in my brain. It’s something I’ve been practicing for a while now. When the emotions become too much and I can’t release the pressure, this is what I do. I’m not sure if either method is healthy.
He grips my biceps gently and rubs his hands up and down. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I would like to continue to call you Olivia if it’s okay with you. If it’s not, I’ll try my best to call you Liv.”
I’m not sure what to say. I stare at him, shocked he’s so willing to listen to my wishes. He sighs, wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. It breaks me out of whatever dissociative state I was in.
I wrap my arms around him and allow him to comfort me, wondering what he would do if he found out. He pulls back and kisses me on top of my head. My eyes gently close. It’s been such a long time since anyone but Ansley or Caroline have touched me. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never wanted one. But with Victor, it’s like being under a warm blanket on a rainy day drinking tea.
He’s right. That’s what mom wanted people to call me. I can’t allow Donovan to ruin it. Victor calling me Olivia is not the same. At all.
“You can call me Olivia.”
He pulls back and studies me for a few seconds before hugging me one more time. He steps back and offers me a small smile.“Thank you.” I give him a small smile in return. “I’d like for you to bring your friends when I open.”
I nod, a little confused at the change of subject. “Okay.” He puts his hand at the small of my back and guides me toward the door. I walk on auto pilot.
He’s not going to ask any questions about why I flinched? Or why I want to be called Liv?
He holds my hand as we walk to his car and opens my door, helping me get in. I watch Victor intently as he walks around to his side. He backs up out of his spot, grabs my hand, and shows me how he changes gears.
