“Yeah.” He frowns and I force the uneasiness building in my stomach down. “Yes,” I reply again. He looks at me for a second before returning his attention back to the road.
“It’s okay to say you’re not okay.”
I turn to look out my window and begin to rub circles along my knee. Why do I feel like crying all of a sudden? I don’t cry. How does he bring out these emotions from me? He’s not even trying. His hand grabs mine, stopping me from rubbing circles along my knee.
Returning my attention back to him, I’m begging him not to push the issue. He doesn’t say anything. He offers me a small smile, puts my hand on the stick shift, then puts his hand on top of mine.
“You used to say you wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. Did you ever learn?” His hand engulfs mine and is in stark contrast next to my pale skin.
“I didn’t.”
He begins slowing down and moves the gear forward. “This is third gear.” He slows down more, then brings the gear down and to the left. “This is second gear.” I feel as it slides into gear. He winks when I smile at him.
I never want this to end.
“I’ll take you on a road where we can go a little faster on another day so you can experience all the gears.” He pulls into a parking lot and releases my hand. “I’ll open your door.” Before I can respond, he’s out of the car and walking around to my side.
I rub my hands down my slacks again and take a deep breath. He opens the door and extends his hand to me, helping me out. Dropping my hand before I’m ready, he locks the doors, and places his hand at the small of my back, guiding me to a door that saysValentine’s Pub.
“You’re opening a pub?” I ask as he opens the door.
I look around and fall in love. At one end of the room, there’s a huge fireplace that goes all the way up to the ceiling. There’s a bar across from the door in dark wood with an abundance of taps to choose from. A man steps out of a hallway next to the bar with a tray of food and places it on the bar.
“Victor, everything is ready to taste. I adjusted some of the recipes from last week and they’re ready to taste as well.”
“Thank you.” He motions to me. “Lee, this is Olivia. Olivia, Lee.”
I give him a small wave. “Please call me Liv.”
Lee nods his head. “Nice to meet you Liv. Victor has told me about you.”
I glance at Victor, surprised. He winks at me again, and I have to take a deep breath to calm my racing heart.
Victor gestures for me to walk to the bar. I climb up on a stool and look at the appetizers on the tray. Rubbing my thumb on my knee, I glance at Victor out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t think this through. He’s going to know how much I eat or don’t eat.Whenever I’m anxious or nervous, my stomach gets so tight with knots it’s hard to eat.
I hear Rose’s voice in my head and take a mental inventory of how I’m feeling. She reminded me about that at my last therapy appointment, but I haven’t been doing the best at remembering. I’m not nervous or anxious. That’s not what this feeling is. I did get upset when I realized I didn’t look at my surroundings, but when he showed me how to change the gears in his car, he was able to calm me down. I’m still not sure how he does that. When I break out of my inner thoughts, I realize I missed Lee’s explanation of what each food was.
“You’re not allergic to anything, right?” Victor asks. I shake my head as I look at everything before us. Nerves or no nerves, I’m not going to be able to eat all of this.
“No. How much will you have to taste test?”
There’s not a lot of each thing. Like the pretzel rolls. There are only two. But there’s a bowl of chili and another plate with meatloaf. Victor chuckles and it washes over me like a warm blanket. I turn to him and he smirks at me.
“The key is to only take a bite of each item or you’ll feel like you’re going to burst at the end. There isn’t a large menu here, but I’ve still had to do taste tests for the past week. The pretzel rolls and chili are the ones he had to adjust the recipe for.”
I shift and look back at the food. “The pretzel rolls are homemade?”
He nods and picks one up, holding it up to my mouth. “It is. And don’t worry, you don’t have to eat anymore than you want to. I wanted to see you, but I also needed to finish this. I thought it would be fun.”
I stare at him for a few seconds before he arches an eyebrow like he’s asking me if I’m brave enough to allow him to feed me. I lean forward and take a bite, my lips brushing his fingertips.
His eyes widen slightly, before he pops the rest of it in his mouth and my face flushes.Why does it feel like we just kissed?That was oddly intimate. I begin to chew the pretzel and close my eyes, savoring the taste. It’s buttery, salty, and practically melts in my mouth.
“That’s good.”
He smiles at me, pleased I enjoyed it. Flutters erupt in my stomach.What the hell is wrong with me?Turning back to the food, I grab what looks like a fried pickle trying to move past whatever just happened between us. I shake my head.Not us. It’s me. There’s no way he’d be interested in me.
“Wait!”
