“Not until you agree to give me a chance to make things right.” That made me laugh.How annoyingly chivalrous of him to think he had to fix this?“Baby,” he said, and the term caught me off guard. Not by how wrong it should have felt, but because of how much I liked it. “You gave me the one thing I neverthought I’d want, and now I can’t imagine not having it. Not having you.”
Jase reached down, gently resting his hand on my stomach. The emotion I felt as he touched me was too overwhelming. I felt like I was about to crumble right there in front of him.
“We’ll get married, move in together. We’ll do it all together, Monroe.”
My breath hitched as he continued. They would all think I did this to trap him. His mama, the entire town, everyone would say how I tricked him into sleeping with me to tie him to me for the rest of his life. I was a nobody. Raised by two selfish humans, who would have done this themselves. I was nothing like them, but that’s not what everyone assumed. This was too much.
“I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Jase.” I said before escaping back into the bar, though the moment I stepped inside, I ran straight into Billie.
“Anything you want to tell me?”
Chapter Eleven
Monroe
Past
The earth smelled wet from the storm that had just ravaged the town. One powerful enough, it felt as if it lasted an entire year.
There were no bodies packed into wooden pews in a crowded church, or faces I hadn’t seen in years offering pitiful stares and meaningless condolences. There were six people standing beside me in a circle around the three-foot hole in the ground. My hand immediately fell to the soft curve of my belly. I still wasn’t showing, but inside I felt like I was.
All I wanted was to make sure my little bear was okay. It had been an emotional week. From finding out my father was ill and near death, to confronting him when my brothers tried to force me away—and for good reason. He died right before my eyes, the same day I forced Nash to take me to see him. I passed out from the shock of it all and the overwhelming emotion that hit me like a tidal wave.
That’s when Nash rushed me to the hospital, and the truth about the pregnancy I had tried so hard to hide came to light.It’s as if the moment Jase found out about our baby, it was a catapult of all my perfectly crafted secrets falling apart. Luckily, there wasn’t enough time for my brothers to dwell on the fact that their baby sister was pregnant and, worst of all, was refusing to confess who the father was.
Not when they had a funeral to plan and a ranch to finish remodeling.
I'd been ignoring all of Jase’s calls, texts, and attempts to contact me. I’d seen him the day my father died, but thankfully Nash, who was clueless, served as a buffer.
There was no one around to pretend Franklin Bishop was some kind of hometown hero. Monty stood to my right, jaw tight as he looked down at his feet, while Theo stood to the side, a good two feet behind everyone else, shifting nervously. To my left, Beau lifted his head toward me, soft eyes and too much heart looking my way as he shifted nervously beside Nash, who was pretending not to hold Bailey too close.
Bailey’s eyes were red and watery as she reached in and wrapped her arms around my middle. I was slightly taller than her in the boots I was wearing and rested my head just above hers. Billie and she hadn’t left my side since the moment my life imploded before me.
I wiggled out of her embrace. The raw emotion she elicited was too powerful. I could feel a crack in the dam holding back the wave of tears aching to tear through.
My brothers wore black like armor, watching me like guards posted at a gate, and beside themhestood, his gaze refusing to meet mine. Dressed in black slacks and a crisp button-down with the sleeves rolled up, he was impossible not to notice, even in my state. He hadn’t said a word to me all morning, and it’s not like I was expecting him to. I was the one ignoring him, and we rarely talked before, so there was no reason for us to talk now. At least not in front of my brothers and friends.
Maybe he’d resigned to the idea of us. It was better this way. The last thing I needed was for someone to suspect him. Not now, when everyone’s emotions are running high. Though after I ran from him the night he found out, Billie saw the truth written on my face.
She couldn’t believe it, yet didn’t seem surprised. I’d sworn her to secrecy, and she agreed, though not before making me promise I wouldn’t wait too long to tell Bailey. I knew Bailey wouldn’t have any issues with it, but I was still somehow hesitant.
I shook my head, refusing to even go there, but from my periphery, I couldn't help but notice how Jase’s eyes followed me when nobody was watching. Except for Billie, no one knew that the baby inside me carried his blood, King’s blood. In this town, among my family, that kind of secret would tear through us like lightning.
“Moe,” Billie whispered as she appeared beside me and took my hand in hers. She placed a tissue in my palm, but I refused to wipe my eyes. I was afraid the tears would fall without stopping if I did.
He was gone. A man I spent my whole life trying not to hate but failed. Because to me, he was a ghost long before they put him in a casket. He was nothing more than a terrible memory that would forever be imprinted on the back of my mind.
How was I supposed to grieve for someone who regretted my existence? How was I supposed to mourn a life that meant nothing to me?
These were the questions I grappled with as I thought of my father’s casket lowering to the ground.
As a family, we decided to skip his funeral service and instead gathered in the front yard of our childhood home, burying the last of our memories of him. Only I had brought nothing to bury, it was because there was nothing he’d ever given me that meantsomething. My entire life I believed he hated me, and I grew to feel the same way about him.
As the realization washed over me, a heavy weight settled in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. A weight I couldn't carry any longer. My heart pounded with a mix of disappointment and anger, causing a dull ache to spread throughout my body. My hands trembled with an intensity I was determined to keep in. The indifference I was trying to show had failed me as Monty tossed the first item—an old, worn-out hat into the ground. The aftermath of this would leave me raw and vulnerable, grappling with the harsh reality of the lie I had told myself.
I was not okay, and the more determined I was to hold it all together, the easier it was for me to fall apart.
Monty was the first to speak, noticing my current state. “Are you ready to go inside?” His unruly wavy hair, which was a bit overgrown, hid beneath the black cowboy hat he wore. All of my brothers, Jase included, had one on, and it was surely a sight to see.
