That man. That man.
With shaky hands, I put the necklace back in the box and beneath the tree. I wanted him to put it on me whenever we were together again. We would get through this. We had to.
As soon as I pulled out of my driveway, I called Mama, who had gone home for Christmas.
“Why are you calling me this early when you’re supposed to be up under Carter? He doesn’t have young kids?”
“Mama, I’m scared that everything has changed.”
“I just left two days ago. Can I not leave you for a second?”
“Bishop showed up last night at the hospital. Said he stopped by the house first and had the audacity to use his key.”
She reminded me, “I told you to change the locks.”
“How was I supposed to know he would show up three years later on Christmas, begging for forgiveness?”
“If you’re calling me about being with him again, I swear I’m flying back today just to slap you back into sense.”
“Come on, Mama, I might be a dumbass at times, but I’m not dumb.” I used one hand to steer. “Carter walked up while Bishop and I were arguing, and it almost got ugly. I managed tokeep the two separated and made it clear to Bishop not to bother me again.”
“Did Carter get one lick in at least?”
“Carter could’ve killed him...he was that pissed.” I used my rearview mirror to ease into traffic. “I got in at least two good hits. Hope I broke his nose.”
Mama howled. “You should’ve. Bishop deserves that and more.”
“Carter wanted to hit him. I just didn’t want more mess for Carter because Bishop would’ve gone to social media or sued him for millions.”
“So, what happened after that? Sounds like you stood your ground with Bishop.”
“Carter doesn’t believe me. He thinks I still have feelings for Bishop. Carter’s ex-wife was in love with her ex while married to him, and last night triggered him. He didn’t say it, but he wasn’t his usual self this morning. We didn’t get to talk because I had to go to work, and his mother was at his house waiting for him.”
“Why didn’t you, for once, just call in and talk it out with him?”
“I asked him if he wanted me to see if I could get off, and he told me he needed to do things with his family.”
Mama exclaimed, “Someone, grab the wheel, please. My daughter really is a dumbass, Lord help her.”
“Mama, stop calling me names and praying like I’m not right here.”
“An accurate name that you just called yourself,” She huffed. “You don’t ask him, you make it happen. He would’ve stayed if you made him a priority. The hospital would’ve been fine without you. So, what if they fired you? You’re already a doctor. This residency is just a place holder, a time filler, because you needed something to take your mind off of Bishop.
Tired of the same argument about my work ethic, I tried a different tactic.
“Mama, you ran your own daycare, and I watched you work every day, even when you were tired, because those mothers needed you. You missed most of my field trips because you were taking care of other people’s children. I didn’t understand that then, but I understand that now. A doctor makes sacrifices. If I weren’t at work yesterday, a young, black woman would’ve had a C-section and put in harm’s way when she didn’t need one. I made that call, and there’s a happy and healthy mother and son because of me. Sometimes our personal lives suffer because people need us. It comes with the territory.”
“Well, that man needs you, too.” She stubbornly said, though her softened tone told me I’d struck a nerve. I’d learned my dedication to others from her. It was only in the last ten years, when she gave up the daycare, that she did whatever she wanted to do.
“And I need him.” I tapped my chest with my right hand. “Just wanted him to trust me and not be ready to give up on us at the smallest sign of trouble.”
“Imagine how you would feel if one of his exes showed up at his house and used the key while you’re there. Would you believe Carter if he said there’s nothing going on?”
“It’s different. He has children. Nothing is connecting Bishop and me.”
“Trauma connects you to him. You haven’t been the same since he left you. He obviously thought he could come back and use his damn key even after three years. That’s what’s bothering Carter.”
I grew silent.
