“Good,” she says, standing up. “The last thing either of you needs is that kind of reputation. Thank you for your time, Mark.” She leaves the office.
A few minutes later, I walk out too. Elise’s desk is empty because she’s taking her lunch break. It’s for the best. I’m not certain what I would say to her if I saw her right now.
I step into the elevator. I press the button to the fourth floor. When I get off, I walk straight over to Zandra’s desk. She’s consumed in her work, her headphones blocking out any sound. Nearly everyone else on the floor has left for lunch and the few people who remain are wearing headphones.
She sees my reflection on her computer screen. She turns around, taking the headphones off. “Do you want to brainstorm again?” she asks.
“Have you heard the rumors?”
She frowns. “About what? Did Tunest do something else?”
“No,” I say. “There is a rumor going around that…something happened between us.”
She stares at me for several seconds before she understands the implication. Her shoulders rise with the tension in the rest of her body. “What? Why would anyone think that?”
"Elise saw us working together," I say. "She made assumptions about the nature of our relationship."
She doesn't need to know that it's my fault. Elise must have seen how I looked at Zandra. She must have thought that I'd only look at Zandra that way if Zandra felt the same way about me.
Zandra stands up, her hands twisting together in an anxious knot. She checks that nobody is listening to us before turning back to me. “We shouldn’t be working together.”
“If we stop working together, it will just make people more suspicious. We—"
“It’s easy for you to make that decision. You’re my boss. You can get away with rumors like that. I just started here. I’m going to be labeled with a scarlet letter,” she says, twisting her fingers so hard, I’m wary that she’ll break one of them. “They’re going to say I’m trying to sleep my way to the top.”
“Nobody is going to say that. We just keep everything as professional as possible and—"
“You’re naive. You’ve always had it easy,” she says, venom in her voice. “You always had your parent’s money to save you from any of your consequences. You’ve never had to worry about your reputation. If I get labeled as an office whore, no reputable company is going to want to hire me. My career will be over.” She’s more right than she knows for the first half.
Collapsing back into her chair, she cradles her head in her hands. Her thumbs rub at her temples. “I didn’t mean to be so nasty,” she says. “I know you’ve had troubles too. It’s just unbelievable that I could work so hard and have it all washed away because of rumors.”
“Zandra,” I say, keeping my tone firm. “I need you to deal with this Tunest attack. You have the freshest ideas, you’re willing to work hard, no matter how difficult it gets, and you excel at your job. But if you don’t want to, I can transfer you to my parent’s bank. I can’t keep you here if you can’t work with me. This is my company and I’m going to save it with the best resources I have. If that’s not you, I need to hire the next best applicant.”
She looks up at me. I see the war in her eyes as she looks at the two options in front of her, but I already know what she’s going to choose. She’d never take the easy route solely because it’s easier. The implication that I need her is also a hook, sharp enough to snag her.
Maybe it’s manipulative, but everything I said is true.
“You’re an asshole,” she says, turning back to her computer. “But you’re also my boss.”
“So, let’s get to work,” I say. She turns around, launching herself out of her chair. In her urgency, she bumps straight into me. I catch her, our arms entangling with each other like a bad habit. She looks up at me, her eyes wide and her forehead furrowed, showing a vulnerability that I’d loved six years ago. That I still love, but I know it’s too easy for me to break.
This is going to be more difficult than I thought.
******
6 years ago
When I woke up the day after my and Zandra’s day together, my hand moved to the right side of me. There was only the edge of the cot. I sat up. Zandra wasn’t there.
I wasn’t a needy person but waking up to find her gone made the day before feels like a dream, which would be its own nightmare.
It would be worse if she went off to explore the city by herself.
Clearly, that was her original intention, but—just like when Petit’s owner wanted to meet with us—her safety became my only objective. I’d never been a person who felt the need to protect someone else. It was too much a hassle and if somebody got themselves into trouble, it was their duty to get out of it.
But her safety—even her happiness—was inexplicably tied to my happiness.
And, if I’d been a little more honest with myself, I didn’t want to spend the rest of this time in Paris without her.
