“Avery,” he says, “I made a mistake. I thought if I kept things professional, if I gave you space, it would make everything easier. Cleaner.” He looks at me, and for the first time in months, the mask is gone. “But I was wrong. All I did was make things worse.” He runs a hand through his hair, the gesture so tired it hurts to watch. “I want you, too. If you’ll have me.”
Nash laughs. “Jesus, could you be more dramatic? Just say you love her and get it over with.”
James stares at him, then back at me. “I love you, Avery.”
There. The words hang in the room, naked and irreversible.
Nash turns to me, voice gentler than I’ve ever heard. “I love you, too.”
I’m shaking. My mouth goes dry.
I sit down on the bed, hands knotted in the robe.
“This is insane,” I say, and I can hear the tremor in my voice. “I can’t choose. Not right now.”
James moves closer to me, keeping a careful inch of space. “You don’t have to. Not tonight.”
Nash stands over us, then finally slumps down on my other side, the bed dipping with his weight. “So, what do we do?” he asks.
I look from one to the other, their faces so different and so familiar. “I just need some time to think.”
James nods, solemn.
Nash sighs, then nudges my bare knee with his own. “Can I at least kiss you?” Nash asks, surprising me. “I mean, I’ve never confessed my love for someone before, and I need to know I’m not crazy.”
I nod almost imperceptibly. He leans in, no hesitation, and his lips are familiar, insistent. His hand cups my cheek, and the kiss is desperate, grabbing for something to anchor us. I let myselffall into it for a beat, until James’s hand finds mine, threading our fingers together. I pull back from Nash, breathless, and turn to James, whose mouth is so close I can see the tremor in the corners.
He kisses me softer, and the difference is enough to make me ache. His palm lands on my thigh, steady, possessive. I realize that both of them are now touching me, Nash’s hand tangled in my hair, James’s fingers still burning into my thigh. My head spins with the heat of it, the way their bodies bracket mine, the sense of being seen and claimed by two men at once.
For a moment, I lose myself in the fantasy of being with both of them at the same time. But truthfully, I know that will only complicate everything further.
I’m so out of my depth I can’t even see the surface. I want to keep them here, to freeze this moment. But the weight of the night is starting to catch up, my eyes heavy with exhaustion, my limbs going numb from the aftershock of confessions I never thought I’d hear.
We sit there, the three of us, in stunned silence.
“I should…” I start, but I have no idea how to finish.
James lifts my hand to his lips, placing a kiss to my fingers. “You should sleep,” he says.
He stands first, but doesn’t let go of my hand until the last possible second. Nash takes it as his cue, rising and offering me a lopsided smile.
James lingers in the doorway, one hand bracing the frame, eyes on me. “If you need anything,” he says, and I almost laugh at the inadequacy of it.
But I just nod, and watch them file out in silence.
The door clicks shut. I lock it, then slump down against the door with my head in my hands.
Chapter 34
Idon’t sleep.
I just lie on the bed, pressing my palm to my sternum, trying to quiet the overwhelming noise in my head.
I replay the night line by line all the way down to the minute both men told me they love me and asked me to choose.
How can I choose? If this were any other situation, I’d make a pros and cons list and be done with it.
But it’s not.
