Climbing on top of him, I took his face in hand, forcing him to look up at me. My thumb slid over his beautiful cheekbone, over his handsome jaw. “Look at me.”
When those cool blue eyes connected with mine, time slid to a stop. “Jesus, Rik,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
Slowly, without breaking eye contact, I dropped my head for a very soft, very sensual kiss. I knew it was more intimacy than he could probably handle. But he held my gaze, blinking a little, but staying with me. His mouth softened into the kiss, and big hands wrapped around my ribs, holding me in place. I kissed him sweet and slow, until he moaned, his legs wrapping over me to hold me close.
“Good boy,” I breathed. “Now spread for me.” In a big hurry, he did exactly as told. And his eyes never left mine.
Ever so slowly, I gave him exactly what he’d asked me for. And when he broke our gaze a while later, it was only because his eyes rolled back in his head on a shuddering gasp.
That time, I wasn’t offended at all.
* * * *
Afterward, I had never been so sated. And Graham felt it, too. His body was relaxed to the point of bonelessness. As if I’d fucked all the tension out of him.
Unlike the night of our tequila adventure, he didn’t look like he wanted to bolt. True, we were in his room. So his options for bolting were more limited. But he didn’tlookpanicked. In fact, he barely looked conscious.
“It’s a shame you didn’t enjoy that at all,” I teased him as he lazed in my arms.
“Smug, much?” he asked, grinning without opening his eyes. “I am covered in jizz.”
“I know. Isn’t it great?” I kissed the place where his neck met his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Rik,” he said then. And I thought he might tell me to leave. Except his hands were running up and down my body as he said it. So maybe not.
“What are you sorry for?”
“Ducking you. Ducking this.”
It was only four words, but they made my eyes sting. “We’re here now.”
“Yeah we are,” he said on a sigh. “Nobody can know.”
Well,ouch.
But it was hard to blame him. Hiding sucked, and I’d already proven that it didn’t really work very well. But on the other hand, I didn’t make a very good advertisement for coming out. Nobody would look at me and say,Heck yeah! Sign me up for some of that media attention!
Most gay men who’ve been around the block a few times will tell you that it’s a bad idea to be with somebody who won’t acknowledge you in public. Was I willing to be with Graham if I had to sneak around?
Actually, it was a pretty easy decision. “Does this mean tonight isn’t just a one time thing?”
Graham buried his face in my neck. “It’s always been you for me. Always.”
And now he’d shocked meagaintonight. The hits just kept on coming. I couldn’t even say anything back, I was just too stunned. But Graham’s unlikely affection fed something hungry inside me. So I held him tightly, and let my contented sighs tell him how I felt.
For a long time, we lay there together, tangled up on the bed. And here I’d thought that naked cuddling with Graham was never going to happen. But his big hands continued to warm the skin of my back. He buried his nose in my hair and breathed deeply.
“I gotta clean myself up,” he said eventually. “Hang tight. I’ll bring you a Zamboni.”
Graham dressed in boxers and a T-shirt, and then disappeared into the bathroom. He came back a couple of minutes later, hair damp from a quick shower. I used the warm washcloth he brought back to clean myself up.
Then I sat up, pulling on my shirt and my jeans.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
The vulnerability in his voice was not what I’d expected. I paused, my zipper in my hands. “Well, I have to use the john. Which means that I have to use yours, or go home. So which is it going to be?”
His eyes traveled to the door. It was after midnight on a Friday night. There were three other rooms on this floor. I could bump into someone in there. Even then, his neighbor would have no reason to suspect us.
