I try to remember if I ever did. He’s brought up Evan in passing, but I’m not sure I volunteered the fact that he’s my roommate. It doesn’t seem like something I would do. “I don’t think so.”
“Well…before you invite him over, you might want to.”
“Do you think it’d be awkward since you work for him?”
“Something like that.” Evan finally reaches for his beer and takes a long gulp.
“Okay,” I say.
“Actually,” he sets down the glass. “It might be better if he doesn’t come around.”
“Okay—if you’re not comfortable—I could be getting ahead of myself anyway. I tend to do that. Over plan.” I feel Evan staring at me again, so I make myself look at him.
He’s chewing his lip so aggressively, I want to reach over and pull it away from his teeth. “I need to tell you something,” he finally says.
“Okay.”
“I’m not trying to upset you. I’m genuinely not.”
I wait, unable to decipher the expression on his face.
“Isaac and I hook up.”
“Oh.”
Okay. That’s news.
“I’m assuming he didn’t mention that.”
Didn’t he, though?“He mentioned being interested in someone…”
Evan’s brows lift. “I’m sure he didn’t mean me, but…actually I don’t know of anyone else, so maybe that’s worth asking.”
“I think he might have meant you,” I say. “Assuming hook up is present tense.
Evan gives a weird sounding laugh and shakes his head. “Yes, but no—our arrangement is strictly utilitarian.”
That’s an odd way of putting it. “What makes you say that?”
He gestures my way. “Because he dates men all the time, and he and I just…fuck,” he finishes softly, dropping his hand.
I nod. “Okay, I get it.”
“Which part?” he asks.
Honestly, I’m not sure. I was referring to understanding his statement in general. Logistics. “That it’s casual for you?” I attempt.
He starts drinking his water. “Totally. A hundred percent.”
I attempt to picture Evan and Isaac together, which isn’t my strong suit. I’ve deliberately tried to never think of Evan that way—in a sexual sense. I haven’t always been successful, but I’ve never jerked off picturing him, at least. Not because he isn’t attractive—he’s very attractive. He’s got an incredible body. His ass is one of the best asses I’ve ever seen. I have wondered why he’s single. I knew he was gay because he told me before he moved in, but I’ve never seen him with anyone. Is it because he’s involved with Isaac?
“I have to tell you something else,” he says suddenly.
I wait.
“We did it today. In his office. I didn’t know he was seeing you, or that it was—I didn’t know. Should I have told you that? I’m sorry.”
I struggle to answer the question. I wish I could tell what he wants me to say because I find I don’t have many feelings about it one way or the other. I consider Evan’s tone to determine how to proceed. Is it defensive? Ashamed? Elevated, yes. His words are quick, rushed almost. His smile is gone. Is he panicking? “I can’t tell what you’re asking me,” I admit.
