“He’ll be okay,” Deacon says.
“I hate that you have to see him like this. He was the most beautiful boy.” I feel myself getting choked up. Clearing my throat, I stuff it back down.
Something about having Deacon at my side right now is deeply familiar andright. Maybe because from the moment I met him, I subconsciously started adding him into my life. I’m starting to understand how people can get married after a great weekend in Vegas and somehow make it work.
“Join me in the shower?” I ask him.
He glances at Jake, then frowns at me.
I hold up both hands. “I’m not seducing you, but we both need one. I have a double.”
“A double?”
“Two shower heads.”
“I’m familiar with your shower.” He picks up the plate with the half-eaten sandwich. “Go get started. I’ll come check on you in a minute.”
By the time I find some clean clothes and turn on the water, all I can think about is how badly I don’t want to think anymore.
I’m not horny, but I don’t want to be alone, either. I could use a nice, hard body to lean against, hold onto. Hold me up.This is making me wonder if I was ever really as self-sufficient as I thought I was. I sort of wish I were, just to make extra sure my father was wrong about me, but maybe he was right, and I’m weak.
As I drag myself into the shower and stand under the spray to wash off the hospital and all the time we spent in the car, I can’t make myself care about anything.
My eyes are closed, but I feel the surge of cooler air as Deacon enters the shower. The other faucet comes on, and I turn to see his backside in all its naked glory step beneath the spray. He turns in a one-eighty, getting his entire body wet. His cock is playing it safe, not entirely soft, but still hanging low, close to his sac.
I close the distance between us in two steps, draping my arms around his shoulders as his hands fasten themselves to my waist. I tip my chin up slightly, and he kisses me.
“Have you heard from Evan?” he asks.
The knife twists in my chest, his resignation email suddenly too vivid in my memory. “Just be with me,” I whisper, praying that’s something he’s capable of—that we both are.
“You want me to take care of you?”
I nod, not without some shame, my tongue darting out to lick some water off his neck.
“You’re sexy when you’re pathetic.”
“I’ve never been so flattered.”
“I’m serious.” He turns me around before walking me to the wall. “I’m learning all kinds of new things about myself from being with you.” He places my hands one at a time, palms flat, against the tile and sucks some water from the nape of my neck.
It sends a shuddering thrill through me. My hands clench on nothing, and I let out a low, unrestrained moan. His cock, now very hard, rubs against my ass, and it becomes the sole focus ofmy existence. As exhausted as I am, I need him. Now more than ever.
His hand slides down my chest, scratching through the hair on my lower belly before wrapping around my slowly thickening length.
I arch my back and tilt my head toward the shelf on my side of the shower. “There’s lube.”
“Have you forgotten we’ve been here before? I know where the lube is.”
“Sorry. I’m not thinking.”
He grabs the soap. “I never asked why you keep lube in the shower.”
“I entertain myself here a lot.”
“Oh, fuck yes,” he groans. “Say something else you should be ashamed of.”
“Don’t make me tell you what I sometimes do with the other nozzle.”
