He chuckles against my skin, and it sheets me in chills.
With lathered hands, he continues to work my cock with a twisting grip. He also washes my back, my arms, my pits, my ass crack. His touch is firm and deliberate, but it feels like he’s everywhere all at once. He’s got me hard, though. I’ll give him that. Hard and pressing my ass against him as urgency builds in my groin to fuck and forget. To feel so much it overwhelms everything else. Jake, the asshole who hurt him, Hunter fucking Cross…and losing Evan.
I would tell Deacon what I need, but I don’t have to. I never have to. He’s already positioning my hips, sliding lube around my hole, and angling his cock to slide in. That done, he steps forward, moving a hand up to squeeze my pec as the other chokes the base of my dick.
I roll up onto my toes, my face hitting the tile as he slams inside. “Yeah,” I sigh, and admittedly, it does sound pathetic.Hauling me up until my back hits his chest, he keeps his strokes short and deep. I’m stuffed full, blind to everything but him and the way he feels, the heat of his quickening breaths against my cheek. So close to my mouth.
I turn enough that our lips meet, and his tongue takes me over there, too. I make a helpless sound as he fucks and kisses me and holds me up, because he’s owning me.
An orgasm builds, fast and furious, and his next shove inside pulls the trigger. I shoot onto the wall, gasping to catch any breath he’ll let me have. He licks at my lips and tongue, his pace picking up as his cock rearranges my insides to make space for him. When I’ve settled down enough to coordinate a more coherent kiss, that’s what sends him over the edge.
Everything in the shower is hot and wet, but the feel of him coming in my ass is hotter and silkier than anything hitting my skin. The way he thickens and throbs, the way it gets even slipperier and sexier as he moves.
I’m not sure if I wanted that or needed it or both or neither, but now that it’s done, I feel a little less alone. Does he know? Hasheheard from Evan? Fuck, we shouldn’t have done this.
But I don’t have a chance to articulate any of that because Deacon is kissing me again and making me melt against the wall. He’s still mostly holding me up, and he’s not even inside me anymore.
When he pulls away, I whisper, “Don’t go.”
“We need to wash your hair.”
“I know, but I mean…don’t go.”
“I’m not.” He leans his head against the wall beside mine. We’re now face to face and chest to chest. His leg is between mine, and I can’t help myself from balancing half my weight on it as I lean into him.
“Do you know Evan’s gone?” I ask.
“What do you mean, gone?”
“He resigned. I think he’s moving to LA.”
Deacon’s face goes blank for a moment before his brows draw together and he shakes his head. “No.”
“I’m sorry. I think I fucked it all up that night.”
“You didn’t. I was the one who fought with him. When did you talk to him?”
“I didn’t. He resigned in an email.”
“I’ll fix it,” Deacon says.
I touch his face and make him look at me. “Hey. This isn’t on you.”
He looks as devastated as I feel. “I’m sorry.”
“It was his decision. And I get it.” It’s not like Evan hasn’t been guarded and hesitant about this relationship. His first instinct was to stay out of it, but I dragged him right into it. Telling him I love him and then expecting him to be okay with the fact that I can’t give up Deacon was unreasonable, but I did think I could love them each enough to keep them both.
“We can make this work, right?” I ask the man left standing. “You and me?”
“But you love him.”
I feel myself getting choked up again, and I have to look away. “Just give me a chance, okay?”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses the side of my head. “I swear I’m not going anywhere.”
The way his hard, strong body molds itself to mine is almost everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never been less than a thousand percent gay, and this is one of those moments, despite all the hate my father spewed at me, where I thank God I was born this way, and for good men like Deacon who’ll take me whichever way I come.
40
