“We’re having a dinner party this weekend,” I say. “I invited Isaac.”
Gray sighs. “What are you stressed about, Deacon?”
“Evan makes me nervous.”
Gray rests the cap of his pen against his cheekbone. “Your CEO doesn’t make you nervous?”
I shake my head as just the thought of Isaac perks up my dick and makes me want. I take a deep breath and adjust myself in my pants. I check the time on my watch and notice the frisson that runs through me, but it’s not excitement. It’s anxiety.And excitement?Mostly anxiety. They could be together right now. It’s Friday afternoon. They’re still at work.
Do they miss me when they’re doing whatever they do in the office? Do they think of me at all? Yes, I’ve been messing around with Evan. A lot. I’ll grant I don’t have a lot of self-control when it comes to him, but inevitably, once I’ve got him naked, I think of Isaac. Like how much Isaac would like seeing Evan like that, too. Like how hot it would be to watch them working each other up and open for me. I swear Tuesday night reprogrammed me.
“Isaac doesn’t make me nervous. Not when I’m with him.”
“Why qualify it?” Gray asks.
“Because I don’t like being here knowing they might be…not thinking about me.”
“The old FOMO…I know it well.”
“Anyway…” I say in a prompting tone. Becausenext question, please.
“What’s special about Isaac?” Gray asks.
“I don’t know. It feels like he gets me.”
“But Evan doesn’t?”
“No, he does,” I say. “It’s just in a different way. When we talk or even when we mess around, he makes me have to think pretty hard, but that’s not a bad thing, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I just get—distracted.”
“With the sex?”
“There’s a reason I brought it up first.”
“I see that.” Gray crosses his legs and shifts his notepad to one knee. “All right, well, I won’t propose setting a timer, but I do think you need to consider some rational limits.”
“Like what?”
“Well, what does a typical night look like?”
“I get home from work, start cooking, Evan starts talking to me, I end up distracted and dragging him to my room.”
“Do you ever end up eating?”
“Eventually,” I say, “but by the time I get home, I’ve been thinking about fucking all day, and I’m so hard up, I forget I’m hungry until after.”
“This has only been going on a handful of days, right?” Gray asks.
I nod.
“Then what’s bothering you, Deacon?”
“Evan is just—like I think he wants more from me, but I don’t get what, and he’s not saying.”
“Again, have youasked?”
