She wasn’t a child, and she didn’t appreciate that he treated her as such. Madison slipped off her shoes. She would leave after she gave his money back. She knew today had been an emotional day and that she didn’t want to make any decisions, but in her heart she knew she needed to walk away. She was glad she went back on her birth control after the first night.
“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”
“Yeah. I don’t think my stomach can handle anything right now.”
“You feel sick?” His voice was hopeful and his eyes dropped to her stomach.
“No, it’s just the stress of the day.”
“Do you want me to run a bath for you?”
“No, thank you. I think I’ll just take a quick shower and go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”
“Ok.” Dante walked up behind her and wrapped her in a hug. He kissed the side of her head.
Dante wasn’t making her a better person. He agreed with that small part of her that was wrong and selfish and didn’t want to give Henry the kidney or be there for him during the biopsy and go to her interview instead.
They had a routine where they would undress each other and he followed her to the bedroom. With her back still to him she moved her hair to the side and he unzipped her and placed kisses along the exposed skin.
She knew no one would be any nicer or act like she mattered any more than what her family did now, which was nothing. She tamped down the voice and reaffirmed her commitment to give Henry the kidney and to being there for him during the biopsy instead of showing up after her interview. They were starting to become friends, and she was sure this would bring them closer.
“Thank you.” She turned and was efficient as she helped him out of his suit jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. She kissed his chest before she slid the shirt down his arms.
Maybe she had to ask Henry to stand up for her. Maybe he didn’t think she wanted him to speak up about her mother’s behavior. She would tell him after the surgery and hope that she would have atoned to a higher power for wishing she didn’t have these responsibilities in secret.
She stepped out of her dress and then unbuckled his belt, undid his pants, and went to push them and his boxer briefs down his legs when Dante stopped her.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to. Go and take your shower. I’ll be out here. I have a couple of things to do.”
“Thank you.” It was normal for them to shower together, but he was giving her much needed space to think.
She wished that she could be young and carefree like her friends or what friends she did have. Her and Zoe had grown closer, and she hadn’t pushed Madison away when she found out she was dating Dante. Not like how Sabrina had.
She still hadn’t been able to address Sabrina’s feelings. She knew Henry had said Sabrina was jealous of Madison, but Madison had no idea it ran so deep. Madison figured it had to do with frustration from the competition.
It had Madison on edge, and she was in first place. She couldn’t imagine how Sabrina was feeling, and Madison needed to remember that and be more mindful of how Sabrina was experiencing things.
Madison got ready for bed and lay down on her side like normal. Later, Dante came to bed and pulled her close like they had always been sleeping together. But it was different. She was stiff in his arms.
She didn’t want to end the last of her time like this. So like anything else she pushed it down and did what she believed was right in the situation and not what was best for her. She relaxed. She couldn’t bring herself to have sex with him, not that he had asked.
She couldn’t because she knew it wasn’t going to be make up sex, but goodbye sex. At least for her and she wanted to have the good times fresh in her memory and not this sad one.
She cried.
“Shh, baby. It’s ok. Let it all out.”
His words only made her cry harder. Dante rocked her to sleep. Her last memory was as if her heart was breaking. It had become more and more obvious; she was body, heart, and soul in love with a mobster. And she needed to walk away.
****
Dante noticed the change in Madison. He had given her some space and had held her when she cried last night. He had empathized with her and wished he could take away her pain, but he couldn’t do more than that. Not if he didn’t want to make her more upset.
But she had been stiff in his arms, and her speech was disjointed the next morning. He could see her brain working out a solution, and he hoped he won out. But by lunch, he knew it wouldn’t happen.
“I need to go back to my apartment to work on my project. I have some last-minute finishing touches to make. Besides, I need to prepare for Friday.”
“Are you doing the interview?” He sounded hopeful, but he knew what the answer would be.
