Had you ever worked a mine, or even farmed before?”
“Nope … I had no clue what I was doing, but after being here a little while, I realized I didn’t want the life I had come from either. I can remember sitting on the ground, looking around, noticing the quiet. There was no one demanding anything from me, no one depending on me. I think I craved the same thingEliza did but didn’t understand it until I experienced the peace for myself.
So, I sent a letter back home granting Reggie legal rights to my entire estate and stayed. I get a letter every couple of months with updates on my finances but honestly, I don’t need it. The mine, once I figured out how to get the silver out, provides more than I will ever spend. I only take the coal to old man Harvey because it must be moved either way, so there’s no reason to waste it.
So you see, buying you a few dresses is not a hardship. Wear your clothes, Lauren. Tell me what you want and need to make your life easier and I’ll make it happen. Until last night, I didn’t realize how nice it was to be needed again. I’ve been so wrapped up in trying to escape who I am … or was, that I had completely stopped living.”
Requiring some air, I stand up abruptly and Lauren goes from relaxed to tense instantly.
“I need to check on the horses and lock the chicken coop for the evening. Leave the dishes, I will help you with them tomorrow. Do you need me to adjust the wrap around your ribs before you turn in?”
“No, it can wait. The day is catching up with me, and I do believe I’ll head on to bed. I probably tried to do a little more than I should have. Are you sure you want me to sleep in her room? I can make a place here in front of the fire.”
Fatigued by the conversation and old memories, I have to stop myself from snapping at her. “Don’t you even think about doing that. Go, sleep in the bed and use anything you find in there. This is now your home, Lauren. Not the ghost who built it.”
I throw a few more logs on the fire then walk out, fighting against the emptiness that always seems to engulf me when I think of Eliza and the what-ifs that I have never been able to change.
CHAPTER 8
LAUREN
I sit here on the bed, somewhat dumbfounded. Never in my wildest imagination could I have dreamed that story up. Just goes to show how money, even though needed, does not make you happy.
Finding out that Eliza was not his wife is even more shocking. I cared for my sisters, but my older brothers were too much like father and only interested in drinking and causing trouble. So, that type of commitment and love for a sibling is not something I truly understand.
Struggling to get out of his oversized shirt, I finally slide the soft flannel gown on over my head, instantly engulfed in its warmth, before climbing into bed. My ribs complain when I roll over on my side, but I ignore them as I curl up tightly, the blankets cold against my bare legs. Even though my mind won’t settle as it relives the events of the last couple of days, I must have fallen into a deep sleep before waking abruptly because I have to void my bladder.
Throwing my shawl around my shoulders, I slip my feet into my boots. Half asleep, I stumble out the back door only to see themoon bright in the sky and sparkling stars. I curse myself for being out here in the cold because I know better than to drink coffee before bed.
I’ve just come back in, shutting the door gently behind me, when I hear it. At first, it takes me a second to realize where the noise is coming from, but my feet carry me quickly to the living area and Grant’s makeshift bedroom. He isn’t thrashing around, but the horrifying, moan-like scream leaving his lips has me kneeling next to his bed.
“Grant, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” He’s so wrapped up in this nightmare that he isn’t hearing me. I touch his shoulder with my fingers, pushing gently. “Grant, wake up,” I say somewhat louder, but still nothing. I know it’s a bad idea before I even do it, but there’s no way I can leave him in the hell that has captured his mind. Grasping his face with both my hands, I rub my fingers along his strong jawline. “Grant, come back to me.”
Before I know what’s happened, I find myself under him, my ribs screaming where he has pinned my arms above my head, and a whimper leaves my lips. Grant is awake, but he isn’t seeing me. “Grant, it’s me, Lauren, wake up.” This time, my voice has him looking down, then around as if he is trying to figure out where he is.
“Lauren? What are you doing in here? Oh my Lord! Please forgive me … did I hurt you?”
“You were having a bad dream and I couldn’t get you to wake up.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, startled me more than anything. For someone who was asleep, you sure moved fast. If you’re alright now, I’ll head back to bed and let you rest.”
“Stay.”
“What?”
“I promise I won’t touch you, but can you stay? I don’t want to be alone right now.”
The haunted look on his face is easy to recognize and I understand more than most about not wanting to be alone. So instead of making a fuss, I give in. “Well, scoot over, you weigh a ton. If you hog all the blankets, I’m gonna burn your eggs in the morning.”
His laughter echoes around the room as he leans down, slipping my boots off. Before I can complain or say a word, he’s turned me on my side and is spooned up against my back, this thick, newly washed blanket tucked all around us. His massive arm is draped over my side but thankfully, its added weight is not hurting my ribs. Even though I shouldn’t be I’m warm and way too comfortable. I drift off to sleep quickly; my dreams suddenly filled with laughter and long kisses.
The sound of the rooster crowing jerks me awake. Somehow during the night, I must have turned over because I’m pressed up against his side. My head’s laying comfortably on his shoulder, as my hand rests on his chest, I suddenly become horrified when I realize my leg is thrown over his much larger,verynaked leg.
When I start to slide my leg off his, a firm hand wraps around my thigh as the large arm tucked behind my back pulls me closer. His soft snores make me smile, especially when I realize he’s stillasleep. After a few minutes, I try to slide out again, only for him to open one eye.
“Stay still woman … can’t you tell I am trying to sleep here?”
