CHAPTER 29
“What did you say to her?” Spencer demanded from his sister almost immediately after their return.
“I could ask you the same question,” she fired back. “You told me that there was no love between the two of you.”
“There– there is not.”
“Then why was she surprised to hear that? You are fortunate that I had already agreed to stay with you both, for had I not, I would be in a carriage returning north by now. You are a liar, Spencer, no better than your father.”
“Our father,” he reminded her, which he knew was a mistake. “I am not that man. I have taken you in and done everything that I could to help you, and one might expect you to show more gratitude for that when– did you say you have agreed to stay?”
“What can I say?” she grimaced, throwing her weight onto the chaise longue in her room. “She was convincing enough, and she told me what I needed to hear. Unlike you, I truly believe that she wishes to help me.”
“Why do you not think the same of me? I am the one who has given everything to help you.”
“And why is that? Because you do what is expected of you. You married Anna because you needed a distraction, and you helped me because you wanted to prove that you are not your father. A brother has a duty to his sister, does he not?”
“He does, of course, but that is not– I am not having this conversation with you again, Sophia. If you do not wish to believe that I care for you, then do not. I have more to do with my time than convince you of it.”
“Like be a good husband?” she sneered. “Do you know how awful it felt for Anna to speak so highly of you, to know that she trusts you completely, when all along you have not cared for her at all? I cannot even look at you.”
“Then do not. I will never understand what you want from me. I have done everything to help you, and yet all you seem to do is pick apart my flaws, and yetIam the one who is like our father.”
“Your father.”
“Ourfather,” he insisted, leaving the room.
He was furious with Sophia, and more confused than he had ever been, but the worst in it all was the fact that he knew he had made a terrible mistake. His lies had come back to haunt him, and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.
And yet, he still went to find Anna. He wanted to speak with her, even if he was not the person she wished to see. There was so much that he had to tell her, to confess, but he did not know where to start.
But as he searched the household for her, he could not find her. It was as though she had vanished completely, there one moment and then gone the next. He wanted to ignore the way his heart raced at her disappearance, but there was no denying it. It did not matter how much he refused to accept it; he needed her, and the thought of her not being in their home was killing him.
“Have you seen my wife?” he asked his housekeeper, who seemed rather taken aback by his tone.
“She left for the village,” she explained. “Shortly after they returned from their outing. She told me she wished to be alone.”
“You should have told me,” he grumbled, though he knew that she could not possibly have realized what had happened.
“Have the two of you quarreled? She seemed perfectly happy for Miss Sophia to be here with us.”
“She is. It has nothing to do with my sister. It is my own fault, and I do not know what to do about it.”
“Well then, you ought to find a solution. If you ask me, all that tends to be necessary is an apology.”
Spencer nodded, but he did not agree. A simple apology would not be nearly enough for the damage he had caused. He did not know just what could be enough. He considered going after her, finding her, and bringing her home, but he did not want to disturb her. She clearly did not want to be found, and with how little he had respected her, he knew he had to start somewhere.
And so he sat in his study alone, waiting for her to return. It was a lonely end to his afternoon, but one that he could only blame himself for. When time for dinner came, he wondered if she would be there at all, and he was pleased to see her sitting there when he arrived.
“Did you enjoy your outing?” he asked.
“I did. It gave me rather a lot of clarity.”
“That is… that is good.”
When Sophia joined them, and they began to eat, Anna remained quiet, but Spencer could see that she was thinking. He did not know what; he never seemed to know what, but it was quite focused.
“I had an idea,” she said at last, when they had almost finished their soup. “I would like for us all to visit my friend Maria tomorrow. She lives nearby, and she has a son of a similar age to Gilbert. It might be good for him to know another boy his age, if you are to stay close by.”
