“It is. I did not know until mere days beforehand. I suppose my father was concerned that I would run away, or invite such a scandal that you would no longer want to marry me.”
“For what it is worth, I am glad that you did not.”
“Even with my scandalous book club?”
“I do not mind that you are part of a club at all. I find it admirable that you all meet and dare to speak about things that no one else would. When I see you all speaking about such things, it gives me hope that we might one day progress as a society.”
“And you do not want it to change at all?”
He bristled, knowing that she would not like the truth.
“Well,” he replied carefully, “the only thing that I would suggest is that, as I said at your meeting, you should keep your thoughts within the confines of your club.”
She looked at him, puzzled, and he knew he would have to elaborate. He did not want to. He was enjoying the quiet comfort that had settled in the week since his return, and he had wanted it to remain. He did not want to upset his wife, which criticizing her inevitably would, but he also had to think of their position in society, and how fragile it was.
“People are beginning to talk,” he explained. “They hear you all gossiping at events and saying things that they consider outrageous. It does not reflect well on us, and given our current situation, we must think beyond our own entertainment.”
“Why do you care about that now? I have had such a reputation for a while now, and you did not come to tell me as much.”
“Because I was unaware of our situation then. Now that I have seen how we are looked at, it is vital to me that we remedy it, and if that means at least being proper when in company, that is what must be done.”
“Very well. And how shall you be changing?”
He tilted his head, wondering just what she was referring to. He had already changed; he had returned. Other than his need toleave his home as often as he did, he thought that he was an upstanding member of society.
“Do not look at me like that,” she continued. “We both know that you are only here because I did not give you any other choice.”
“Yes, hearing of my own funeral certainly caught my attention, I must say. I will give you your grace for your creativity, and it did indeed bring me back, but that is besides the point. Our circumstances have changed, and that means I must be in charge.”
“You should have done that long ago.”
“I know, and I was careless. I never should have trusted my cousin to the extent that I did, as it gave him enough power to try and seize it all, but that has been mended. However, the last thing the Wutherton name needs is more attention. If we are to win this, I must keep the trustees on our side, and that cannot be done if they do not respect us.”
“Is that to say that you do not think I am worthy of respect?”
“No. Anna, why are you not listening to me? I am making perfectly reasonable demands of you, and pointing out my own flaws while I do so. I am not seeking an argument.”
“No, you simply expect to say what you want and that I will listen and agree, whether I think you are right or not. You want me toforget about the past year, and act like a wife who is truly and deeply loved, even though you and I both know it is not true.”
“I only want you, along with myself, to act civilly and behave as a proper husband and wife should.”
Her accusation hung in the air. She did not feel loved, and he was to blame for that. Even so, Spencer thought, it was not the time for such issues. They had to mend their position in society first, and he did not understand why that was seemingly so unimportant to her.
She laughed bitterly, turning her head away from him.
“It is funny, because this is all I have wanted since our wedding day. I have only ever wanted for you and me to get along, to form a friendship of sorts, at least. I wanted a husband who respected me, both publicly and privately. Instead, what I got was a husband who could not stand the sight of me, so much so that he felt the need to run away altogether.”
He looked at her as she ran her hand through her hair, growing more and more restless with him as they spoke. As she made herself more disheveled, he only wanted her more. He wanted to take her, lay her out, and show her just how he truly felt about her, but it was not the time.
He wanted to find a way to make the time for it, but it was impossible when she had such a tendency to suddenly hate him. He hoped that, once they had settled matters, they could returnto how they were when they kissed, for it was in those moments that he had never felt more for a person.
“And I am here now.”
“For how long?” she fired back. “You and I both know that you are waiting for this matter to be resolved so that you can leave again. You are not here for my sake. You are here for yours.”
“For ours,” he corrected her.
“Yes, my mistake. You want me to play family with you, and pretend that you are oh so fond of me, in order to fix the damage that you caused by your own neglect. You might think that this is a brilliant plan, but I do not.”
