“If it is an apology you want, you will not receive one,” she replied firmly.
“When did I ask for one? I asked you what happened.”
He stepped closer to her, his body almost pressing to hers, and in spite of the ordeal, she felt her knees weaken at his presence.
“Your cousin is not a good man,” she confessed. “I understand that we must keep him on side, for now at least, but I cannot stand him. He is awful, Spencer.”
“Be that as it may, you cannot humiliate him like that. What did you do to him and why?”
She took a steady breath to tamp down the chill in her veins. What if he believed her? Would he assault the cousin he believed to be a good man, start a fracas in the midst of society? And what if he did not? What if he cared no more for her words than he had cared for her loneliness?
“I do not wish to say.”
“Anna, I have been patient. I have defended you, and I have not admonished you for your actions. In return, I expect you to give me an explanation.”
“Why? You have secrets of your own, ones that you expect me to defend. If you can have yours, then I may also have mine.”
He groaned, pacing the floor and pressing his hand to his temple.
“How am I meant to fix what you break if you do not give me a reason for why it is broken?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
He stopped, chuckling darkly, then brushed past her to leave. She tensed at his touch, wishing that he had not made everything as difficult as he had. It could have been so different. She could have crumbled when he touched her, melting into him, but she was left longing instead.
But she had been longing for too long.
And so, as he was leaving, she caught at his coat to stop him, and he turned, catching her by the waist. He was smirking at her, an eyebrow raised, and she did not know whether to put more distance between them or remove it entirely.
“Did you have something to say?” he asked.
“I—no.”
“Good.”
And with that, he closed the gap between them with a kiss. Her breath hitched, and her eyes remained open for a moment in surprise before she closed them, falling helplessly into him.
His hand ran along her waist, lifting up to the top of her corset and brushing the top with his fingertips before pressing his hands flat against her, pulling her even closer.
At last, there it was, the feeling that she had wanted ever since she first picked up one of her books. The desperation, the longing, the desire, it was all there. She felt wicked, even thoughthis man was her husband and she had every right to be with him. It was all that she had wanted from him on their wedding day, and part of her almost felt that the wait had been worth it.
Then he pulled away, and she was breathless, wide-eyed. Her defences were down, and she did not want to build them up again.
“Now,” he continued, “you ought to know that I will find out what I wish to know eventually. I have my ways. I would simply rather that it came from you directly, and I would appreciate it if my wife could do that for me.”
Without thinking, she opened her mouth.
“Your cousin propositioned me,” she said quickly. “He pressed me to… look kindly upon him and hinted that he would take the estate from you if I did not.
She was trembling again, terrified that he would not believe her, but there was no anger in his face. He was listening, truly listening, and a spark of hope lit. Maybe she could convince him.
“When he told me of our difficulty, he told me that all of this could be handled if I… if I were his.”
“And you are certain that he was not simply making you an offer in the event that you hated me?”
“If he was, he would not have– he would not have used force when I refused him.”
She saw the white-hot anger in an instant. Regardless of what he had done, he had a loyalty to her, one that she had never imagined that he could have. She wanted to trust him, to let him in, but she had to pull back again.
