At the time, he thought his ploy had worked, because Jo did calm down. But apparently her idealistic nature hadn’t changed, because when their love was tested by fate, his wife had wasted their last precious few months destroying his faith in love, in women, and in marriage, all in some twisted, noble effort to make him stronger.
To give him his life,she had written. The pain she’d put him through had killed the life in him—until Hallie brought it back.
God, how he loved her.
He had loved Jo, too, but that love was gone now, gone over a lie. He sighed. Jo, Jo... He could see her face, her smile, and he shook his head.She was his first love.Hallie was his last love.
He rubbed his hand over his pounding forehead. He had treated her like hell, and still she loved him. He knew it. He felt it in every look and every touch. It radiated from her like heat from a bonfire, and he, who had been singed, never appreciated the fire’s heat because he was so damn afraid of getting burned.
Kit stood, needing to find Hallie, to tell her, to hold her. He left the room and looked through the house. She’d brought him the journal not more than fifteen minutes ago. He rechecked the downstairs and finally thought to look outside. Kit opened the back door and stopped. Dagny sat on a small bench in the back, and Hallie knelt beside her, crying. He moved closer, but stopped again when Hallie’s words became clear.
“He doesn’t need me, or my love. Oh, Duggie, Maddie was wrong. I was wrong. I tried so hard, but he doesn’t love me. He can’t when he loves Jo. Oh God... he still loves Jo.” Her voice was loud and mournful with hurt, and the pain and agony of her words paralyzed him.
She was nearly hysterical, and her cries grew as she grabbed Dagny’s shoulders and shook her. “Listen to me, Duggie! Hear me... please hear me. I don’t have anyone... please, Duggie, I don’t have anyone to hear me.” Hallie’s head fell into the crook of her arms and her shoulders jerked with her sobs.
Suddenly, she looked up at Dagny with a tormented, tear-ravaged face and grabbed her sister’s shoulders and began to shake her, over and over while she cried. “Dammit, Duggie, hear me! I need you to hear me... Oh God, Duggie, please, please hear me... help me... I need you... I need you, please...”
“Don’t cry, Hallie. I hear you,” Dagny whispered.
Hallie stopped shaking her. “Duggie? Oh God, you heard me...” Hallie clung to her. “You heard... you’re back, oh thank God, you’re back.”
Hallie called out, “Maddie! Duncan! Come, please come. It’s Duggie!”
Kit moved toward them, but the children came barreling out the back door and ran straight toward their sisters. Hallie still held Dagny, and before he could reach them, Maddie and Duncan had arrived. Kit stood back, unsure and feeling as if Hallie’s heart were lying crushed and shriveled in his cruel hands. She stood, and her eyes met his for an instant.
Her look was empty. There was no emotion, no life, no tenderness, and most of all, her expressive face no longer held any sign of love. So as they went inside, Kit stayed behind, feeling helpless and vulnerable. He had finally accepted what his heart knew—that he loved Hallie. But something told him he had realized that love too late, that he had waited too long. And for the second time in one day, he cried.
“I love you.”
At the sound of Kit’s voice, Hallie stopped splashing water on her teary face.
“I love you,” he repeated, closing the bedroom door behind him.
With face dripping, Hallie spun around. “What?”
Kit shifted his stance slightly. “I love you.”
“Why?”
“What in the hell do you mean, ‘why’?”
Hallie grabbed a towel and dried her face. She couldn’t look at him. She was too scared—scared that he might give the wrong answer or the wrong reason. She tossed the towel on the dresser and walked over to the bed. “Why do you love me?”
Kit crossed the room in two angry strides.
Hallie crossed her arms and glared back. “Well, tell me why you love me.”
“I love you because... because I do!” he shouted.
“That’s not good enough!” Hallie raised her chin.
He paced back and forth. Then he stopped. His frustrated face became smug. “Okay then, why do you love me?”
“I asked you first.”
“Goddammit, Hallie! I love you because you’re my wife!”
Hallie’s stomach dropped. “Duty, you love me out of duty? Just because you are married to me.”
