“Wait - I didn’t ask you to.” Shame floods me as I pull back abruptly. Away from his touch, his warmth. “I haven’t asked you for anything, Jared. We’re friends. That’s it.”
He’s Ben’sbrother.
My only connection to him.
“It’s because of Ben,” I whisper. “That’s it. That’s why this is happening, Jared.”
Two lonely people, reaching for each other in the absence of the person we both want.
Jared and I face each other with a foot of cold air between us.
“You believe that?” The question is sharp.
Not meeting his eyes, I nod.
I have to believe it. Because if it’s not true, then it’s such a betrayal of every part of my relationship with Ben.
As if he was a stepping stone to get to his brother.
God, Ben. I wish you were here.
I clear my throat, turning away. “I’m cold. Come on.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but he’s half-asleep on his feet by the time we reach my apartment. Jared insists on following meup to the door, and he bumps into my back when I stop. He leans against the wall. “What’s that? Did you make it?”
“No.” Frowning, I bend down to pick up the circular flower arrangement, turning it over in my hands. “There’s no card. Probably for my neighbor.”
It looks like a funeral wreath. The symbolism is clear. Black roses mixed with red poppies, orchids scattered between them.
Shaking my head, I take it through the door, leaving it on the table. I can’t knock on anyone’s door at this hour. “You can’t go home like this. You can sleep on the couch.”
“No.” Jared sways in my doorway, rumpled and rugged and… tempting. “This is a bad idea, Em.”
He never calls me Emmy.
“Maybe.” If we’d both been drinking, I’d agree. “But trust me when I say that leaving you to walk back on your own is a worse one.”
He steps inside, turning to look around. “I’ve never been in here before.”
Only to the door.
I’ve never invited him inside.
“Sit.” I point, masking my thoughts with a stern expression. “Before you fall, and I can’t pick you up.”
Jared stumbles down onto the couch. He’s out before I even pull a blanket over him, a soft, rumbling snore coming from his throat.
I spend a few minutes watching the rise and fall of his chest. At least he’s sleeping.
I don’t get any.
40
Jared
Fuck, it’s bright in here.
I crack one eyelid open, shifting until my head burrows into a pillow with a groan.
