Jared’s words bury into my mind, burning through the irritation filling me.
He blinks. Slowly. “Forget I said that.”
Leaving me standing there, he bursts into sloppy movement. “Come on.”
Biting my lip, I follow slowly. He weaves all over the sidewalk, his words floating back to me. “Why do you work in a bar, if you don’t drink?”
“It’s not a requirement to drink on the job.” Even though he does. Every time. I steady him with my hand under his elbow. “And I can walk away if somebody’s had too much.”
But he’s scowling down at the sidewalk. “Why didn’t you tell Carla about Ben?”
The sudden switch-up takes me by surprise, and I stop. “What?”
Cold fingers grip my heart as he turns to me. Jared’s nose is red from the cold, his eyes bright. “Carla knew Ben. But she didn’t know about… what happened.”
I can put the pieces together. She knows now. Suddenly, our weird interaction earlier makes more sense.
“Carla has her own shit going on. I didn’t want to burden her with my grief. She has enough of her own.”
I try to turn away from him, but Jared puts his hands on my face, stopping me. My lips part as he cups my cheeks, cradling them. “Jared. What are you doing?”
“Do you miss him?” His hands are sowarm. “Because I do, Em. I miss him so much. And you look so tired.”
My chest aches as he keeps talking. “I can’t sleep through the night, you know. I wake up every single night. I can’t stop thinking about him.”
I close my eyes. Because I don’t sleep, either. I wake up, screaming or crying from nightmares I can’t escape.
I see Ben.
I see other things.
My head is not a good place to be.
A finger brushes under my eye. Jared strokes his thumb against my skin. My scar, tracing the edges. “Why do I think about you, Emilia?”
My heart leaps for a single second, before it sinks like a stone. “Stop it. You’re drunk.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs. He looks at me. His eyes travel over my face, searching for something. “I shouldn’t think about you, but I do. Do you ever think about me?”
My breathing turns ragged. “Jared.”
He leans in, and a mixture of dread and something close to anticipation tangles together in my stomach. His nose brushes mine.
“Please,” he breathes. “I need to know.”
I swallow. “Yes.”
Amber and brown mix together. He’s so close to me that we’re sharing breaths, our lips almost touching. “Say it.”
“Yes.” I search his face. But I don’t see any trace of Ben in this moment. Anything that might explain why I tell him the truth. “Yes, I think about you.”
I don’t know when it started happening. When those thoughts started creeping into my mind.
Only that they did.
The Bennett boys are sharing space in my head, and I hate myself for even thinking about it. Hate myself for thinking about one while I break my fucking heart over the other.
Jared’s eyes slowly close. He shakes his head. “I can’t do this.”
