And I don’t know what to do now. The memory of Jenson’s face, twisted with pain, stays in my mind as I crawl into bed and wrap my body around a pillow, hugging it tightly.
It hurts so much more than my father’s icy revelation.
We’re going to lose everything.
The room around me that I’ve slept in my entire life will be gone. Heart pounding, I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.
I could save it.
All I would have to do is marry a man I don’t care for. For the first time, I allow myself to truly consider it, instead of skating around the idea in my mind.
I’ve never been to his home, but I’ve seen pictures of the townhouse I would move into. It looks… cold. White walls, white furniture. Not unlike mine, but it looks unlived in.
There’s no life there. I’d be expected to keep it exactly as it is. Maintain it, without changing it. And become the same. Pristine perfection. Silent and obedient, my head lowered.
And I would share his bed. I consider that too. Compare it to the images I watched this morning. The way that they made me feel. Revulsion tightens my chest at the idea of having Philip that close to me. Touching me.
They might not want you anymore.
My face crumples at the thought. I wouldn’t blame them. I broke the agreement, after all our conversations about trust.And if they don’t want me… I can’t imagine meeting anyone else like them. Not ever.
So maybe it doesn’t matter if it’s Philip. Not when I can’t imagine anyone ever matching up to them anyway. At least this way, my father would get to keep everything he’s worked for.
The thought lingers.
Briar
The haughty seamstress raises an eyebrow at me. “We do know what we’re doing.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.” Our living room has been transformed; the coffee table pushed aside to make way for the platform that I’m standing on as several women work around me. “I just thought it would be measurements only.”
The white lace feels too tight against my stomach. I suck in a breath as it’s pulled tighter. “I need to be able to breathe.”
The seamstress lets out a disapproving tut before moving on to my hips. “Your fiancé has very specific tastes.”
He chose my wedding dress. Withoutspeakingto me.
“There.” The woman steps back, pointing at the mirror. “You make a beautiful bride.”
The others murmur in agreement. This dress is nothing like I would have chosen for myself. It’s too tight, the lace clinging to me all the way down my body, from the low-cut corset untilit flares out close to my ankles in a long, ostentatious train that almost stretches the full length of the room.
I always thought I would make my own wedding dress. Something out of a fairytale. Pretty, with long sleeves that tapered on the ends, and a swishing, flowing skirt. Something that made me feel like a princess, instead of a prisoner.
But then, this is not the wedding I dreamt about.
I drop my gaze from the woman in the mirror.
I’ve heard from Kai every day. Small, sweet messages. River has left voicemails on my phone, his coaxing words almost enough to make me smile.
But I’ve heard nothing from Jenson, and his silence speaks loudest.
I jolt as they place the ivory veil on my head. It drops down to nearly my toes, heavy and thick. An unpleasant, musty scent fills my nose.
“It belonged to your mother-in-law.” The words barely make it through the fabric. “She insisted that it should be given to you.”
Oh, God.Doreen.
My breathing feels louder as the noise of the room is cut off. Harsh, and a little panicky. I start to feel a little light-headed. “Could you take it off, please?”
