Don’t argue for me. This is my fault.
You made a choice.His face falls slightly, as if in realization. His movements slow.You didn’t feel you had a choice.
I turn to face him completely at that, signing something quickly that softens his expression before I spin.
I pause in front of Jenson, not sure what to say. Not sure I can say anything.
So I sign it instead, the words and pain closing my throat. To him, and to River, both of them watching me. I give them the same words I gave Kai, and another apology.
I would have chosen you. I’m sorry for the lie. If you don’t want to see me again, I understand.
Jenson jerks, but I’m already moving past him, careful not to touch him before I push the door open.
“Briar.” River’s voice is desperate. “Please. This is not the end of the world, sweetheart. Don’t leave like this.”
I pause. Just for a moment. Just in case.
But Jenson doesn’t say anything.
I can’t. Not without making more of a fool of myself, and I shake my head, slipping through the doorway and leaving silence behind.
It closes behind me. And it feels like the ending of something.
Something that almost felt perfect.
Jenson
The kitchen is full of anger.
River pushes in front of me. “You’re seriously going to let her leave like this?”
Anger still has my throat in a chokehold. But it’s not just anger. There’s something else – something cloying, and heavy. It feels like shame. “This was never going to last. Temporary. Perhaps it’s for the best—,”
The shove to my chest takes me by surprise, and I stagger back.
“Bullshit.” River roars the word. “For years, I have stood by and watched you self-destruct, Jenson. You can blame your father and Katherine all you fucking want – and if I could go back, I’d doanythingto change it – but this is a chance to get it right. She is your chance, and you’re the one who’s going to blow it. Hell, maybe you just did.”
“We barely even know her.” The coldness comes so easily. Blissfully numbing. “And she lied.”
“She gave us her fucking virginity,” River snaps. “Not a contagious disease. She’s up there alone and upset. And you’re acting like she’s—,”
He doesn’t say it.Like she’s Katherine.
Except I’m the one who feels like Katherine right now. The thought makes my palms sweat.
To my surprise, Kai pushes River out the way, his hands moving furiously.She was scared to tell us. And you just proved her right.
“You don’t know,” I snap at him. “Iaskedher. To her face, Kai. You think I’d react like this otherwise?”
And you told her this wouldn’t happen. That the arrangement wouldn’t happen.
“Yes.”
I don’t understand why they’re not angry too.
She gave us something she can’t take back. Gavemesomething, since I was the first to push inside her. And even the thought makes me feel physically sick. The way I thrust inside, not caring, not checking—
The nausea surges, and my jaw tightens as I fight to keep it back. Not to run to the sink and purge my stomach. “She’ll be fine. She’ll go back to her pampered life, and she’ll be fine.”
