We float beside each other. Above our heads, the sky is a sea of inky black. No stars are out tonight.
“I—,”
“I—,”
We both stop. She huffs, the smallest sound of amusement. “Go on.”
“I was angry.”
She waits.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “My temper gets the better of me too often. And it feels as if I have beenangryfor so long that it’s hard to switch it off, Cat. We have lost so much time, and I’m angry at that. I’m angry that Matteo is still out there. I’m angry… I’m angry that you had to save yourself, and we were too late to stop him from hurting you.”
She’s watching me now.
It spills out in waves of fury that burn my throat on the way out. “I’m angry that my father is dead, and he didn’t deserve to go like that. I’m angry that this will not be over without more pain, more loss, when we have sacrificedenough. And I’m so angry that these days might be the only time we have,tentazione.”
“And I’mscared, Cat. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared that you’ll run into danger and leave us behind, and we might not get you back this time.”
I take a breath. “I want to fight with you every day for the rest of our lives. I want to argue with you, and fight over the front seat, and bicker over little things that don’t really matter because the only thing that matters is us being together.”
Her breath hitches.
“And I need your help.” My voice is quieter now. “Because that little girl we made is a stubborn ball of fire, and she’s going to need both of us to stay alive until the end of this, Cat. She’s perfect, and she’s ours, and it’s hurting my heart to watch you holding yourself back when I can see how much it’s hurtingyou.”
I force my feet down to the floor, stand up in the water and turn to her, water dripping from my bare skin in the war night air. Her face glows with the light from the courtyard behind us. “We get one life, Cat. I want to spend as much of it as I can with you, with her, even with this strange family that you’ve built.”
I push my way toward her, cutting through the water, and grip her cheeks between my hands.
She’s cold beneath my touch –like ice. “Cat.”
And her eyes – they’re glassy, as she stares straight through me. As if it’s not me she’s seeing at all. My body tenses as I look over my shoulder, and back to her.
She starts to shake.
“Hey.” I drop my palms to her arms, rub up and down, trying to transfer some of my heat into her. “Talk to me.”
She just stares. Stares at my bare skin, and I start to panic. “Look at me.”
I try to pull her closer, and she… sheexplodes.
Her hands claw at my face, raking down my cheek as she throws herself back, disappearing under the water.
“Cat!” I roar her name, throwing myself after her. Her legs thrash as I drag her back up. “What thehell—,”
She’s wheezing, pushing away from me, and my heart rips down the middle at the petrified look on her face. “Stop – stop—,”
I let go, backing away with my hands in the air. “Tentazione. Please. It’s just me. Dante.YourDante.”
My heart is splintering at the fear that crosses her face. I thought I had seen her frightened, that night that she left us.
But not like this.Neverlike this.
19 – Caterina
Ican’t breathe.
Can’t breathe – can’t—
