She feels like the finest, most delicate china under my hands, so fucking fragile as I run my hands over her dyed hair, over and over again.
My words start falling out, rambling as I hold her to me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper desperately. “I’m so sorry for everything, Sienna. I can’t take it back. I can never take it back, I know, but I’ll never stop making it up to you. I’m sorry you’ve got me as a Soul Bonded. I knew it the second I saw you. You were so hopeful, so happy to see us. It was like you had this – thislightinside you, and I knew I’d crush it, the same way I break everything else.”
Swallowing, I glance down, but her forehead is pressed into me, gentle huffs warming my skin as she breathes in.
“That’s what I do.” It hurts, saying it out loud. “I break things. I broke Logan over and over again, and I knew when we were in the nest, that I’d break you too.”
She stirs. “You didn’t break me.” Her voice is a little stronger now. “You didn’t break me, Gray.”
She pulls back, huge blue eyes looking up at me. There’s a crease between her brows, her face still pale but a little better than it was a few minutes ago. “It feels like there are so many different versions of you,” she mutters. “You’re giving me emotional whiplash, Gray. Angry, nasty, protective, sad, caring… who do youwantto be, Gray Cohen?”
I hold her eyes. “Yours.”
I catch the faintest flare in her eyes before it disappears. “And Logan?”
Swallowing, I nod. “I need him to breathe, Sienna. Lo is my oxygen, the air in my lungs. But you…I think I might need you to live.”
“What does that make me?”
“Everything.”
Her smile is so fucking sad. “You have no idea how much I want to believe you, Gray. But I can’t take another run of this.”
“Never again,” I swear. “And I’m not asking you to believe me, sweetheart. I just… give me the chance to be a better man. A better Bonded.”
My hand is still entangled in her hair, and I move it away from her face. “For now, just let me help you. Please.”
She wets her lips, indecisive but not kicking me out of the bathroom, so I’ll take that as a small win. “How? I don’t want—,”
“Not that,” I interrupt. “Just sleep. Skin contact.”
She chews on her lip as she considers it. “I think… I think you’re right. What we were doing helped, but it’s not enough. Skin contact… I can do that. Don’t read into it, though.”
“Okay.” My hands feel clumsy as fuck, huge on her body as I carefully lift her, not thinking about the angle until she’s pressed against me, her legs hitched around my hips and my hands gripping her thighs.
Fuck, but she feels perfect in my arms. Too light, but I’m going to fix that.
“Have you been able to eat?” I ask her as I walk us back across the hall to her room. Sienna shrugs. “I guess so. Not a lot, but enough.”
Definitely not enough. I can feel the sharpness of her bones pressing into my skin as I lay her down on the bed.
“I need to change.” She sits up, slowly, and I run a hand over my hair.
“Sure. I’ll just – I’ll give you some space.”
I quickly wash myself off in the bathroom, my ear cocked for every small movement from her room as I grab the small figures I left with my jeans earlier. When she calls my name, her voice small and hesitant, I’m inside in a second.
Several of the blankets have been removed, giving a little more room for me to slide in next to her, Sienna cocooned between my body and the wall, a fingertip’s worth of distance separating us.
Skin contact.
When she shifts, an irritated huff escaping her throat as she turns to face the wall, I roll with her. Sienna makes a startled sound as I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her in until she’s tucked against me, our bodies pressed together and my knees up, our feet tangled.
My Bonded sucks in a breath. “Gray.”
“Skin contact,” I remind her. Nudging with my hand, I get her to tilt up her head so my arm can slide underneath, my head pressed into the sweet scented crook between her head and shoulder as my other arm moves slowly under her camisole, my hand spreading out to cover the soft skin over her abdomen.
