They exchange a look. “We wanted to know the man that made you, pumpkin. And we wanted to hear about your mother. Maybe that was wrong of us. After all, you should be the one finding these things out before us. I’m sorry, love.”
“We’re messing this up, huh, kid?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. You guys are going through your own stuff. I get it.”
“But you come first, Bonnie. Always. If it’s making you uncomfortable, say the word and we’ll stick to the villa like hermits.”
I chuckle, “No, it’s fine. I…I think I should talk to Lorenzo. Maybe then I won’t feel so trapped in my head about it all, you know?”
“I think that’s a wise decision,” Dad says. “I know Lorenzo would like the opportunity. But you don’t owe it to him, so only do it if it’s what you really want.”
I nod. My mind goes to Allegra again and a small smile creeps its way to my face. “She shouted at Pete, too.” I giggle. “Allegra, that is.”
Pop sits back and laughs. “I think we all deserved it.”
“She’s not what I thought.” I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
“Hmm, in what way?” Dad is in therapist mode.
I shrug. “I thought she was horrible to begin with. Nothing but a criminal. A baddie.”
“And now?” Pop joins in with his soothing, lay-on-the-couch-and-tell-me-all-your-woes voice.
Another shrug. “She was mean in the beginning. I stand by that. But I think there’s more to her—to this place—than I realise. It’s not like it is in my books.”
“It never is, sweetie. But,” Dad sighs, “be mindful she is still a criminal, even if her attitude has changed. That goes for Lorenzo, too.”
“Dad’s right. We’re stuck here for the time being, and I think itishealthy for you to explore your past. But one day, hopefully not too long from now, all this will be over and we will go home. Lorenzo and Allegra will resume whatever it is they do. Maybe leaving a little space is wise.”
“We don’t want you to get hurt or put in danger, ever again, love,” Dad adds.
I know they’re right. My opinion on Allegra might have changed from when we met, but at the end of it all, she’s still a mob queen, and Lorenzo is still the Don of a mob family.
We hug it out and I assure my dads they can leave me alone with my thoughts. My solitary pondering is soon interrupted by a fully clothed Pete. It’s going to be one of those days that will leave me emotionally drained. I can feel it.
“Hey, Bon,” he says quietly.
“Hey, Pete. You okay?”
He gives me a boop on the nose. “I just had my ass whooped by Allegra.”
I like that he never beats around the bush.
“Hmm, I heard.”
He plonks himself down next to me and wraps one of his giant arms around my shoulders. “Sorry, Bonnie. I’ve been a totally shit friend, haven’t I?”
“No, you haven’t.”
“Yeah, I have.” He pulls me closer. “Can I tell you something?”
I lay my head on his shoulder. “Always.”
“She’s right. About it all. I’m skating through life without a fucking clue. I’m really lost, Bonnie, and I don’t know how to deal with it or change anything, so I’ve just been repeating the same thing over and over.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask. I don’t turn to look at him because he wouldn’t cope with that kind of attention. The fact he’s finally opening up is enough.
“You’ve always had your shit together, Bon, even when we were kids. You knew what you wanted and went for it. I never had that clarity. I thought as I got older it would magically hit me—what I wanted out of life—but it never happened. I’m jealous of you, actually.”
