“Sure,” I say quietly. “I could eat. Thanks, Emmett.”
He nods, bringing in the bowl and placing it on my nightstand. He very obviously doesn’t look at my best friend as he rubs the back of his neck.
“Ah – Jess? You want to eat with me? Or I can bring some up?”
His adorable awkwardness makes me smile. Jess purses her lips, her eyes darting to me. “I should—,”
“You should go and eat,” I nudge her gently. “Go on. I’m feeling pretty tired. I’ll have this and crash out.”
“Okay.” Jess looks uncharacteristically fragile as she stands up. “I’ll just be a few minutes, and I’ll come back to check on you.”
“Okay,” I whisper. Emmett holds the door open for her, his frame protectively curving over Jess as she walks through, her hands clutching her elbows. He glances back at me. “Sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?”
I shake my head, my throat tight. “Look after her?”
He gives me a nod. “Of course. Call if you need us.”
After they’ve gone, I stare at the bowl on the side. I do need to eat. But the first spoonful tastes like iron in my mouth, and I push it aside, abandoning it in favor of picking through the thoughts crowding my head.
Just the idea of letting them back in, opening that crack a tiny bit, makes me shake. The Soul Bond makes me crave them, but it feels jagged, twisted in a way that doesn’t feel right.
But Jess is right. They owe me. And if I curl up here and let myself waste away, the only person I’m punishing is myself.
And they deserve to feel a little of the pain they’ve put me through.
My lips firm. And I shove off the covers.
I hope they choke on it.
20
LOGAN
Groaning, I cross out the last idea on my shitty list. “We suck at this.”
We’re trying to come up with ideas, suggestions for things we can do to prove to our Soul Bonded that we’re sorry.
And we’re really, really shit at it.
“Because we’re trying to plan it,” Gray points out. “We can’t plan this, Lo. I mean, we can, and some of those ideas were fine. But she needs us to prove ourselves. That’s not something we can do with a giant sign.”
I frown. I quite liked that idea.
I want her to know that we’re proud to be her Soul Bonded. That we’ve always been proud, despite the fucking chaos of the Trials. Is that so bad?
“I just… I need to know she’s okay, Gray.” There’s something building in my chest, something that’s pulling me straight to the door where our Soul Bonded refuses to see us. It’s been growing for a while, but now it feels like a pressure around my chest, a need.
Is this how she felt? Worse?
Swallowing, I reach up to rub my chest when Gray’s head shoots up. He scrambles to his feet as I turn around, shading my eyes against the sun.
Sienna is leaning heavily against the doorway, her own hand up to her eyes as she scans the yard. I jump up, Gray and I staying where we are as we wait.
Please. Please speak to us.
When she takes a single, unsteady step, it’s enough. I’m across the yard in a second, Gray just behind me as I pause a few paces away from her. “Hey.”
I drink her in, the pain in my chest growing with every second. I take in the weight she’s lost, the way her clothes hang loose around her frame, how her shoulders curl in, her collarbones prominent in the glimpse I get before she tugs up her shirt.
