Someone could slide a knife between my ribs, and it would hurt less. She’s frightened. Ofus.
I turn to look at the others. Rogue looks gutted, his face almost as pale as Harpers, while Devlin looks like he’s ready to do murder. Ace’s face is filled with pain as he watches her.
Ezra moves further into the room, almost dragging Harper with him as he whispers rapidly in her ear. She nods briefly and they move over to the other armchair, Harper wrapping her arms around herself as soon as she’s settled. She’s keeping her distance from us, and Ace lets out a rumble of distress. We all want desperately to hold her, our instincts dragging us towards her, but it’s clear that she wouldn’t welcome it right now.
Ezra stays close to her, and she throws him a grateful look.
“Let’s get this out of the way,” Ezra announces. “Did you or did you not discuss inducing an artificial heat without Harper’s consent?”
Her face pales, changing to a look of betrayal as she gapes at Ezra in disbelief. The room is silent for a moment as we all digest the words.
“You what?”
“What the actual fuck?”
“Sweetheart—”
I stay silent. The look on her face is tearing me apart. She almost looks resigned, like she’s waiting for us to admit something. An artificial heat? The thought of any fucking artificial heat is repugnant. The thought ofHarperin that position makes me wish I had someone in front of me to shred.Never.It echoes through the bond, waves of affirmation from my pack confirming that we all feel abso-fucking-lutely the same way.Ours to protect, my mind hisses, and I’m only too happy to agree.
I can’t hold myself back any longer, and my knees hit the floor with a thud. I shift closer to Harper, whining when she moves back away from me, her back hitting the chair. Her beautiful golden eyes are so dark that I can’t see any sunshine in them at all, and the idea that we might have put those shadows there when she’s already been through so much breaks me in a way I can’t explain.
“Harper,” I whisper, searching her face. “Baby, please… I’m so sorry, love. I would rip out my own heart before I hurt you.”
It’s true. Every single beat of my heart is for the woman in front of me. My sunshine. My everything. I feel dampness on my cheek, and I drop my head to her thigh. Harper sucks in her breath sharply as I offer her my throat. Sharp, potent cinnamon settles to a warm thrum around us, and then she’s pushing me off. My heart shatters and swoops as she drops on her knees in front of me.
“Look at me,” she pleads. “Gabe. Look at me, please.”
“I can’t,” I admit, a catch in my voice. “I don’t deserve to look at you.” Every part of me feels shattered into a million pieces.
There are angry denials from my pack. A hand grips my shoulder, and Rogue’s fresh scent and strength surrounds me. “This is not your fault, Gabe. We’re all responsible.”
Harper glances between us, her eyes wide. “Why do you think this is your fault?” she asks me, a hint of wariness in her tone.
I glance at her, just once, before looking away. “Because it’s my fault you were in that freezer,” I say, my voice breaking.
“Why?” Her voice is filled with pain. It tears at my insides.
“Because I never showed you. I never showed you the latch. I didn’t even think about it. So when you were stuck in there, you couldn’t get out. Because ofme,” I pause, my breathing heavy as I stare at the floor in defeat.
Her hands move into my vision, and she overturns my palm. “Gabe, I…”
When her voice trails off, I’m filled with utter hopelessness. This pack is better off without me. First, I pushed Ace away. Now this. If I wasn’t here, maybe…
I push myself to my feet, shrugging Ace off as he grabs my arm when her small voice yanks me to a stop.
“I didn’t look for the lever, Gabe.”
My mind spins as I digest her words, and I turn to stare at her beautiful, broken expression.Oh, love. She’s ripping my heart into tiny pieces. I think I understand what she means, although Rogue and Ace still look confused. Devlin growls out his anger at the words. Of course. He’s walked in that darkness, too.
I just don’t knowwhy.
I’m back across the floor in an instant. “Harper,” I breathe, my hand lifting up to her face. I stroke it gently, reverently. “Why didn’t you look, honey?”
She stares down and I grasp her chin, gently, raising her up to face me. “Harper,”I growl when she shakes her head, and her eyes fly up to my face, widening. Yep, I can do the alpha thing when I want to.
She swallows hard. “I… I just wanted to befree.” Her voice breaks on the word.
“I heard you talking and I thought – I thought you were going to…,” My heart clenches as I realise just how close we came to losing her.
