It was ironic that Amari popped up when I wanted nothing more than to be depressed. It was my holiday tradition, just like Farmerton’s annual Christmas parade.
He barged into my life like last night’s blizzard and forced me to make a choice. Would I pursue life or death? Would I wallow in pity or put on my big girl panties and allow a generous man to be my partner in a world where I felt alone too long?
That afternoon, as I clipped my electronic coupons, Amari called. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I heard his sultry voice.
“Hi, Amari.”
“Hey, beautiful. What have you been doing since I left?”
“Random stuff and thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Us.”
Amari chuckled.
“Oh really?”
“Yes.”
“What did you conclude?”
I heard the angst in his voice over the phone.
“I don’t want to be closed off from the world anymore. I want to experience the joy of Christmas again. I want to move on with my life.”
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until Amari spoke.
“Tell you what. Come to my Christmas Eve party.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t know about that. I’m not the most sociable person. Kids are more my speed than adults.”
“Why are you so stubborn, woman?” Amari’s voice got louder. “I spent all those hours wooing you, and you still want to stay distant? Make it make sense, love.”
I processed Amari’s words. I was a rational person when it came to my profession and even helping others, but I couldn’t explain why I feared getting out of my rut. If I wanted to be better than who I was right now, I needed to take a chance on Amari and the possibility of something more.
“I don’t know. It’s just . . .”
“Just what? You’ve got this.”
I took a big breath and exhaled with a nod.
“What time should I be there?”
“Dinner starts at seven on Christmas Eve.”
“You don’t take no for an answer very often, do you?”
“No, ma’am.”
“You get a platinum star for being persistent.”
“I receive whatever star you want to give me. Bring whatever you’d like. It’ll be a laid-back time with games, food, and lots of booze. It’ll make us official.”
I frowned.
