I chance another step forward, hoping to get close enough to reach out for her.
“Seren, you’re scaring me. Whatever is going on, we can figure this out.”
“I think I’m good for a while, ya know? I think I’d rather not.”
“Is this about the boys from truth or dare yesterday? About Tyre and Jett and Broden? Did something happen?”
That gets her attention, her head snapping my direction and I flinch, nervous her rash movements will cause her to fall.
“You know,” she laughs manically. “Boys like them always get what they want. And sometimes they're so brazen about showing off the fact that they’re pieces of shit. I don’t know what I ever saw in football boys. They’re all fucking trashcans if you ask me.” She steps, but not toward me, away from me. “And you know, I do really love you, Liv. I do. You really are a good friend to me and maybe I’m the one who hasn’t been the best. But let’s face it, you just want to run off with Trace and live your happy fucking life. There’s no room for me there.”
My heart reaches my throat and I have to force myself to react calmly.
“That’s not true. I want you in my life, Seren. I just want to know what’s going on right now so if you can just step away from the cliff, Se,” I beg as I take a few more careful steps toward her. Just a few more and I can grab her.
The snow melts against the rocks of the cliff, creating a slippery slope to navigate but I just have to keep breathing and stay calm. She’s not going to fall.
“You know I loved him, Liv?” she asks and curiosity stops me in my pursuit of her. I pinch my brows as I wait for her to continue. “Yeah, we were supposed to be endgame but just like everyone else, he couldn’t give up his precious football to afford me a single fucking moment of his life. It’s why I rushed into securing that apartment for you and I, because I wanted to get the fuck out of here, Liv. But it’s not enough, you know?” she pauses and the sounds of wind screeches against my ears. “I just want to be happy. I just want to live without feeling like I’m some kind of burden. Like I’m not just pretending to like doing whatever the fuck this is called,” she waves her hands around in the air, and I watch her.
Nothing she’s saying is making any sense to me, her voice is broken, her words seem frantic, and her demeanor is chillingly calm. She’s not being dramatic. Something is really haunting her. And I dip my head, recognizing the familiarity in it.
Declan. He had this same look in his eyes just hours ago.
“What are you talking about?” I question, taking another careful step toward her.
“Your brother, Olivia. Isn’t it obvious?” Confusion bubbles in my chest at her admission and I can makeout the pain laced in her tone. “But even after he broke up with that prissy bitch, Natasha, he still couldn't seem to commit to just me. He said it’s too complicated with football and he doesn’t want to break my heart. But doesn’t he realize that that is what he’s doing right now? I mean, why are men so weird? I’d literally follow him around the world if he just told me he wanted to be with me.”
“My brother?” I say, my words fading in a whisper, enveloped in a maelstrom of so many mixed emotions.
No. She’s not telling the truth. She’s talking about being in love withmy brother? Shock covers my face, my heart beat racing with the wind when I take in what she just laid out for me.
She- she’s in love with Declan?
“Yeah,” she sighs deeply. “Turns out you aren’t the only one who broke our little pact, babes. But at the end of the day, I know that Deck never took me as seriously as Trace takes you. I can see it, you know? The way he looks at you. That’s the kind of love I want. I want true undisputable, uncontrollable love.”
“You can have that, Seren, you can. But you need to step down from this cliff.”
She sighs, her shoulders dropping. “Do you think anyone would really miss me? Truly, madly, miss me?”
“I would miss you. Alli and Trace would miss you. And I think Declan would miss you, too Ser. The whole town would mourn your death,” I say, knowing in my heart that her absence would rock the town. And now I can see that his intention really is to garner that emotion.
“But Tyre wouldn’t. Tyre or Broden and Jett. And Natasha would be happy to get rid of me. She wouldn’thave to compete with me for you brother but then again, he actually dated her. I was just a secret he kept lying around. And I’m sure my parents would give a rat’s ass less what happens to me. So maybe being mourned wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe I really should just disappear.”
There’s a sinister layer to her words and I can practically feel her wicked grin reach me and my stomach churns. Nausea crawls up my throat, causing me to choke lightly on my next breath. Whatever this is, it’s not funny though I can tell she’s being serious. Whatever she is doing has to stop. I push down any dubiety I carry, needing to focus on getting her off this cliff.
“Please come down, Ser. We can talk about this back at the cabin,” I encourage her, knowing that whatever battles she faces, I can help her through it.
I reach for her, but she swings.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” She falls back, tripping over a rock, but she rebalances herself while my heart drops to my stomach in fear.
This is not good.
“Seren, please stop this,” I beg, feeling the sting of tears bubble in my eyes. “Let’s go get Trace. He loves you. I love you. You need to come down. We can fix this.” My chest caves, I feel so much pain radiate from the girl with the biggest laugh, the brightest smile, the loudest personality.
I want to know what’s going on in her head. I want to help her understand what she’s worth, that she’s worth so much more than what she’s doing to herself now.
Iattempt to reach out for her again, this time taking a big step closer to her and I grab her, wrapping my hand around her wrist.
