Not just the people, but the boys too. Even before Chase had walked into our algebra class, I had never glanced at any other boy in school. I knew where my heart lay, and it wasn’t with them. It was with the boy sitting across from me. The boy who had no idea who I was anymore.
“Well, if you need a lunch buddy—”
“Don’t.” I stuck my hand out to stop his offer. I didn’t need him to take pity on me. “I know boys like you, thinking that any girl will fall for you if you just smile. Why don’t you go over to Eden”—I turned and pointed to where Eden was sitting at a table with her friends. I had seen her eyeing us from the moment I stepped up to the bench Chase and I were sitting on now. She lifted her hand to wave at us, but I knew it was only for Chase. Eden hated me ever since she found out how good at math I was. She always tried to turn me into the freak—“and have lunch with her.”
“But she’s not who I want to have lunch with.” Chase leaned in close to me. He was only inches away from me, and his breath filled the air as I held mine after sucking in a shallow breath. He was so close. Close enough that I was sure if I didn’t move he was going to kiss me and I couldn’t let him do that. Not with everything that I remembered and he didn’t.
I stood up abruptly and grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, then walked away, throwing a goodbye to him and not looking back.
“Bye, Chase.”
When I walked away from Chase that day I made sure to stay in Mrs. Carmichael’s room while everyone else went to lunch. It helped me get caught up on any homework I needed to work on and it also meant I never had to see Chase.
It felt like we had been so close to reaching something, but with the secrets I kept about our past, I knew I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t use what I knew about Chase and me and think I could make us work with my feelings alone. It just wasn’t fair, to either of us.
When we went into algebra the day afterward, I made sure to get there early with Madison, using her powers with boys to bribe Luke and Bryan to move to the other side of the classroom so we could have their seats.
I had made sure to keep distracted as much as possible. Joining the mathletes had been one of the best decisions I had made. I had gotten our school to finals in the district and moved us up to state, which I would attend over summer.
I already had colleges reaching out to me to offer scholarships and early admission, which I knew wasn’t something I was looking into. I wanted to enjoy my time I had with Madison in high school. She was my only friend here and if I didn’t have her then what did I have? Because right now, it sure as hell wasn’t Chase freakin’ Ruthen.
The last day of school freshman year had snuck up on me. One day I was walking the halls as a fourteen-year-old, the next I was walking around with college offers and about to be a sophomore.
Madison and I made plans for our last day to walk home, which wasn’t far from where school was, and grab some frozen yogurt to celebrate. I had watched Chase walk out the front doors ahead of us and when we went through, I saw a black sedan waiting for him.
He opened the back door and turned to look back at me. My steps faltered when my eyes met his, but I caught myself before I face planted in front of him. I had seen the same sad look on his face when he first left me all those years ago and seeing it again had my heart breaking once more. That was the last thing I needed. My eyes were still on him as he lifted a hand to wave at me.
I looked over at Madison, who was paying no attention to me, nor to the car Chase was standing at. I raised my hand, just barely, and gave a slight wave toward him.
It was the slightest move, but the small smile it gave him made my heart swell.
If I had known that day that that wave was going to be the last I saw of him, I actually have no idea what I would have done.
But that wave was engraved in my head.
Not just that wave.
That smile.
Those eyes.
Chase was engraved in my head every single day.
And I felt sorry for any other boy out there who tried to replace him.
