He was always so worried about what the people needed. It was what made him a great politician, and why he was running for state governor. I had never thought about myself in politics, but it was the only thing my father had his eyes set on. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps.
“Got that, son?”
I looked up from the spot on the bed I hadn’t realized I was staring at. I nodded as my father made his way out of my room.
“And get down here before your mother comes up next.”
I grabbed for the notebook and shoved it under my pillow. I might have seemed complacent with my father, but his words only fueled what I knew had been stirring since I got my notebook from my English teacher. I loved to write, my words meant something, and I was going to make a career out of it. No matter what my father said, I knew that in this life, I would never allow for anyone else to ever write my words for me.
And I knew from the way my heart had beaten when writing my words earlier, that my only muse would ever be Erica, my peaches.
Erica
I nibbled on the last piece of baked chicken before my dad took away my plate, leaving my mom and me at the dinner table alone. It was just another typical Friday night for us, but this one loomed a little heavier on me.
I looked at the clock on the microwave and realized that homecoming was just starting and I was sitting at home. My hands were in my lap and I fixated on my fingers intertwined while my mother went to get a game for us to play tonight, a weekly tradition. It was my first homecoming and I was missing it, not that I probably would have gone anyways if anyone had asked me, unless that someone had been Chase.
We hadn’t talked much since he started school. We had a few classes together, but something still felt off when we talked, like we could only talk about school or what was happening in classes, otherwise Chase would stop talking altogether. So, I never made any advances to talk to him, not like I was trying to see him every chance I could get. The words only came out when we had to talk, which I was fine with, but sometimes I felt like I wanted more. I just didn’t know how to say it.
My mom came back with Clue in her hands while my dad made our ice cream in the kitchen behind us.
“One of the moms at the PTA meeting yesterday told me that homecoming was tonight.” She stated like it was just the start to another conversation, not something hugely monumental she was asking.
“No boy to come and pick you up?” Dad popped up next to me with a bowl of vanilla ice cream, smothered with butterscotch sauce.
“Drew.” Mom snatched her bowl out of his hands while he started to set up the board game.
“What, you can ask her, but I can’t?”
“Exactly.”
I sat there in silence as my parents went back and forth, thinking about the only boy I would want to come pick me up. He hadn’t asked me to go and even though I hadn’t been planning on going, I had no idea what I would have worn if he had asked me. Because I knew I would have said yes.
“Is there a boy at school you would have wanted to ask you?” My mom tried to prod again.
I blushed and took a bite of my ice cream. “Yeah.”
The word came out muffled, but the way my mom smiled, she knew what I had said. My dad pulled out the cards to put into the envelopes on who committed the crime while my mom had an eyebrow raised in question. She wanted to know who it was.
“You could have asked him.”
“What!” I sputtered, ice cream dripping out of my mouth.
“Len. She’s not going to ask some boy to a dance.” My dad turned to me. “You’re not going to ask some boy to a dance. You deserve better than that.”
He nodded matter-of-factly and turned back to getting the game ready for us to play.
“I would never ask a guy out, Mom.” The words finally formed in my head to actually speak. I was appalled at the statement, and even though it seemed like the logical reason, go for what you want, that was just not me.
Yeah, I liked going after what I wanted in practical decisions, like school, what college I wanted to go to, when I’d get a grown-up job, but asking a boy out? No, thank you.
“If you like him, then tell him.”
I sat back in my chair, eyes wide staring at her.
“No.” I shook my head feverishly. Not happening. “I can’t just ask a guy out. What if he says no? What if he says yes? I have no idea what to do. No. I can’t do that.”
I was no longer talking to my mom, but to myself, psyching myself out from whatever my mom thought I might be able to do.
It wasn’t going to happen. I would rather not say anything at all than risk everything. It was one of the reasons I had clammed up when Chase had come into our class the day he started school.
I shoved another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, abruptly ending the conversation my mom was trying to have with me. I then focused on the board in front of us while we started the game.
It only stole my mind away for the few hours that it lasted and once it was complete and I was left to my thoughts again, the worry sank in. What if I did bring it up to Chase that I knew him? What if he really had no idea who I was and laughed at me?
I tossed and turned for hours, worried sick about a possibility that no one but me knew about. One, that in this second, I knew would never come to light. I would rather keep this a secret than have Chase laugh in my face. That was not what I needed to start out high school with.
A crush who thought I was crazy. But then again, Chase was far more than a crush. If only he could remember that.
