“I’m good with staying here.” I patted the bed and continued to focus on the photos in front of me. Maybe she would go away if I ignored her.
“Come on. Younevercome out and play.”
“You know I don’t like to.” I looked up at her. So much for her going away. I pushed my glasses to the bridge of my nose. They were something I was still relatively new to, but my eye doctor said because of my time in front of a computer more and more lately, that was what was causing my sight to become weaker. So here I was, nerdy math major with black thick-rimmed glasses. I was hoping that eventually settled for now.
“But there will be cute boys, beer—”
“I’ll stop you there. You know I hate beer.”
“Right.” She pointed to me with a devilish grin. “Hard liquor only.”
“Damn straight.”
“But what about the cute boys? I could introduce you to some new people.”
“I’m all good in that department, Melissa.” I laughed at my own joke as I pointed to my screen where a man was standing in front of a colosseum, not that she could see from where she was standing.
“Why do you always have to be so down about boys?” She sat down on the edge of my bed and placed a hand on my leg, then picked up the dress and held it out to me, like I hadn’t caught it on accident. I didn’t reach for it.
“I’m not. You can date and hang out with whomever you want. I just don’t want to.”
“And I’m trying to figure outwhyyou don’t want to. It’s not like I’ve ever seen you with a guy before. You never even look at any of them and there aretonsof hot upperclassmen on campus.” She raised an eyebrow and stared me down, waiting for an answer.
“They aren’t who I’m interested in.”
“And who would that be?” Her head cocked, not believing what I was saying. It reminded me so much of how Mark had acted in high school when I told him almost the same thing. Just because there wasn’t someone immediately in my life, didn’t mean they weren’t in my heart.
She inched closer to me.
“A guy I’ve known since I was a kid.”
“So, childhood crush?” She raised an eyebrow, not convinced at my statement.
“More than that.” I gave her a little, but her hand waved for me to continue. “I’ve loved him for a long time and I’ve never felt the desire to look at any other man, let alone give them a chance to be with me.”
“So, you two are dating?”
I bit my lip and looked away from her.
“You twoaredating, aren’t you?”
“No…” I drew out the word and sank into the pillow behind me. If I could hide in my shame I would. I was talking about Chase like he was mine, but Melissa had asked the one question that I hated, which was why I never brought it up. We weren’t dating, but I wished so hard that we were. That our lives had somehow turned out differently and that he had remembered who I was. That I had mustered up the courage to just say something to him.
“I’m confused.”
I looked at Melissa, her face sullen.
“Quick version. He left Atlanta when we were nine, I loved him then and I was pretty sure he loved me too. He came back at fourteen, but didn’t remember who I was.”
“Wait.” She cut me off. “Why didn’t you two just keep in touch? Why didn’t you ask if he remembered you?”
“I was nine. I sure as hell didn’t want to tell my mother I wanted to keep in touch long distance with a boy. Hell no. And when you’re fourteen, and the boy you’ve been crushing on since you first met at seven seems to forget you, you just let it happen. I didn’t want to be more embarrassed than I was.”
“So, you’ve gone over ten years without the kid you fell in love with and youstillwon’t look for another guy?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Then why don’t you reach out to him? It’s 2008, for goodness’ sake, there is social media for a reason.”
