“I’ve known Lawson since he started driving. He used to drive for Jimmy and then he got his own team,” Chloe informed me. “He’s worth every panic you will feel. Just by the way that man looks at you, trust me.”
She pulled back after one last hug and left me to put back on my headset and continue watching the race.
I had found it mesmerizing, especially to watch the cars go round and round in person. When watching on a television it doesn’t seem like they go that fast, but when watching them here, they speed past you like the speed of light. Sometimes it was hard for me to be able to find Law in all of the cars that were out there, but Tony always made sure I knew where he was.
The leader board off to the side of the field also helped. Law had gone from starting in first place to moving between twentieth and fifth. He had gotten caught behind one of the wrecks but had managed to bring himself back up to the top. I loved watching him race, and being able to hear him and see what he and Tony talked about made it that much more investing. It wasn’t just Law driving that car that made him the great driver he was. His pit crew had amazing time to get him in and out, and Tony had eyes like a hawk that made it so Law was always two steps ahead, it seemed.
It wasn’t until we were coming into the last twenty laps that I stood up to each and every single turn Law made. He was in third place and if this race was like any of the others, he would try to maneuver around the front two cars to score the win.
It was in the next two laps that I started to see the car behind Law get aggressive in his moments to get around him. I had tapped Tony on the shoulder and I knew he saw it too.
“Lay, low, Lawson,” Tony said into the microphone, but it was too late.
The car behind Law made the slightest of contact with his back left bumper, but it was enough to cause Law’s car to push up his back end into the wall. I watched as the car spun, causing Law’s front end to slam into other cars that were coming directly at him. His hood slammed into the concrete barrier that surrounded the track and slid along the side while yet another car slammed into the right side of him.
Sparks flew out from the car and he tried to spin out of the hold the car that was attached to him had. When he finally broke free his car dove toward the grassy patch that was at the bottom of the track.
His car finally stopped when it hit the grass, sparks still flying.
I looked out among the wreckage to see four other cars that were just as totaled, but all I was concerned about was Law. I looked over at Tony, who had been trying to speak into the microphone to get Law to talk, but I heard nothing but Tony’s voice.
I heard the crack in it, though. I stood there with my arm on Tony’s, the grip becoming tighter with each passing second that we didn’t know more.
“Lawson. Answer me.” He was just as worried as I was.
I was helpless to Law right now, but I knew they had something in place for when accidents happened like this. I looked up at Tony, who reached out and wiped away a few stray tears I hadn’t known had come out. I knew he wouldn’t be able to say that everything was going to be all right, so I just waited and stood there like he did to see what was going to happen.
I took a deep breath and looked back out at the track where multiple men were working on Law’s car. My chest rose and then fell, and I tried to mimic the breaths Law did when he lay down after a long day and just wanted to sleep. Take in a breath, count to five and then exhale. Calm. Soothing. That’s what I needed.
A man came up behind us and grabbed for Tony. He motioned for one of the pit crew to stand with me, but I tried to push him away. I ripped off my headphones to figure out what was going on.
“…red flag.” Was all that I heard the man tell Tony as he started to walk him out of the pit and to a golf cart like vehicle.
“What’s that?” I asked, a quiver starting to form in my lip. There was no lump in my throat, but there was one in the pit of my stomach. I tried to pull away from the pit crew that was holding on to my arm. My heart sped up and the calmness I had started to feel before was completely gone. My breaths had become erratic and a dizzy fog was starting to overtake me. I needed to get it together.
“Hold her and make sure to keep the headphones away.” Tony pointed back to the guy and he took the headphones out of my hands and threw them to the farthest end of the pit area that he could.
“What’s happening, Tony!” I screamed as he got on the cart and drove away. I looked up at the man standing there with me and all he did was shake his head. I shoved him away and ran back to the small tower we had been sitting on and tried to see what was happening.
An ambulance. Law’s car. Tony coming in on a cart.
I watched as the paramedic took Law’s body out of the car. There was no movement.
My hand gripped the railing in front of me. I needed some kind of support.
I had to watch there alone as they laid him out on a stretcher in the grass that had been marred by the tires of his car. I knew Tony could see me and I him, because he looked back at me and pointed to his ears. I grabbed for his headset that was still sitting in his chair and Tony’s voice came through.
“He’s fine, but we’re going to the hospital. I’m coming to get you.” And then he was gone. He threw Law’s helmet that held his microphone back into Law’s demolished car and the paramedics lifted Law up on a stretcher and put him into the ambulance.
I felt nothing, but yet I felt everything.
My knees were shaking, but I couldn’t sit down. I had to keep going. I had to keep moving because I couldn’t be the woman who went to her first race and lost it. I had to keep it together for Law, for me, for us. I stood up strait and looked back out at the field.
I watched as men tried to move Law’s car. There was nothing I could do to help the man I loved. But yet there was. I just had to be there.
I looked back across the field at the other cars that had been in the wreck and watched as other drivers had gotten out of their cars. Drivers whose cars looked just as bad as Law’s.
My grip in the railing tightened and my knuckles turned white.
Why couldn’t Law have done that?
Why wasn’t he able to walk away?
I screamed out Law’s name into the empty space around me, not caring how crazy I looked. The silence that had filled me was deafening and I needed someone to hear his name, know I was calling to him. That I was there, like I should be.
Because theanythingthat could have happened at this race had happened.
