“Alexa, wait.” Max grabbed my arm as I made my way to the door. “Are we going to talk aboutthis?”
“About what?” I didn’t want to have the “us” discussion yet, so I playeddumb.
“Don’t do that.” Hurt crossed Max’s face. I had never hurt someone, and the pain that showed in his eyes caused my heart to break. I knew that it was a possibility that I could hurt him, but I didn’t like the way itfelt.
“I’m not doing anything. This has been fun, Max, but I’m not ready for what you think you are ready for. I don’t want to do a relationship, and I also don’t want to have a fling. I just want to be myself for a little while. Is that so much to ask? I don’t want to rely on anyone else for my happiness just yet.” Max’s distance from me grew with every word I spoke. I was ruining everything that he had been fightingfor.
“Fine.” Like that, Max changed in front of my eyes. He straightened himself up, and the total mess of a guy who had walked through my door moments ago was gone. The Max I first met was back and I was just another girl, but there was something still in his eyes. The fire was still there. He leaned his head down towards me before he left the room. “I will never give up, Alexa. As much as you push me away, you are the only woman for me, and if I have to wait our whole lives for you to admit your feelings, then so beit.”
I held my breath as he walked away, leaving the door ajar. When I heard the front door shut, I sank down to the floor and cried. I was curled into the fetal position, trying to hug my knees to my chin. I thought the smaller I got, the more it would help me disappear from this situation completely. I didn’t know how I had gotten myself into this mess so quickly after Adam had broken my heart. Lilly and Erica lay on the floor next to me, cuddling me tight and not letting go. At least I had some form ofsupport.
“You’re a crazy woman for letting him walk away.” Lilly’s words rang in my ear. At least I thought I hadsupport.
“Am I really that crazy?” The words broke from me assobs.
“You are.” The soft words came from Erica, and I knew if she was chiming in I had screwedup.
“What can I do?” I tried to calm myself and breathe, wiping away the tears. “I just fucked everything up with two words, one question. How do I come back fromthis?”
Lilly rubbed her hand up and down my back. This floor was not comfortable at all. Erica grabbed my face, looked me dead in the eyes and gave it to mehard.
“You tell him you love him, and don’t tell me you don’t. We all see how you look at him. If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.” She wiped a tearaway.
“You seriously have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen, Alexa,” Lilly chimed in, and rested her head on my shoulder. These girls were my rock. Erica spoke upagain.
“Open your heart, babe, especially if it could get hurt again, because there is no way in life to lovesafely.”
They were right. Safe wasn’t an option anymore. If Max was going to break my heart, I was going to jump on the rollercoaster that he was manning. Only moments ago I was evading this man, and now these girls were convincing me to give him my whole heart. And my whole heart he wouldget.
